I deep in my heart know that I should not be in a relationship with this cancer man, but he is the father of my children.
I finally got it together and starting looking after myself (for me), running exercising eating right. I lost some weight that had stuck from having kids, I just got to a place where I was confident again- starting loving myself. This was my outlet to get away from the kids for an hour a day.
HE came home from work and I went out the door for my run, I came home from the run ('me time'), and he started in on me!!!!! He was not happy that the house was not clean. We have kids that are like tornadoes!
So we had a big of words- with this fight I was absolutely serious that I no longer wanted to be with him, I told him to leave or else I would leave with the kids. He always turns it around to make it look like I'm the bad one, that I am to blame. So anyway after the last fight I went to bed early with the kids and left the issue as- you will leave or I will.
He went to work as usual, and I went about our busy day with the kids. He comes home as if nothing has happened and even treats me a bit better.
ARGH. And now I'm back to square 1. I haven't been exercising due to catching the flu, the kids have it also. I have a throat that feels like a razor and being stuck at home has made me eat the kids treat not good food. My confidence is zero again.
Can someone guide me please, I feel like I'm on a merry go round and is really no fun on this ride. Back to just existing, not living