OK, I am a cancer female, so perhaps what I say is not completely spot on since I bring a female perspective to this whole thing...However, I would first like to say, good on you for realizing that you were at fault (most people of whatever sign do not take that sort of responsibility, so kudos...). Secondly, yes, we Cancerians DO feel things quite deeply, and we are quick to both "snap our claws" at any sort of perceived threat and to then scuttle smartly into our shells, so to speak. Most people see this as us just having ourselves a good sulk but the fact is that it hurts us deeply to have "snapped the claws" at you, especially if you are someone we care about as, it seems to me, your "Crab" cares for you. As a Virgo, I know that this all just seems extremely bewildering: God bless you, you guys take a much ore "intellectual" view of things so this disappearing act of your boyfriend's must just seem a little nuts. What you need to remember is that we Cancerians look upon everyone we care about-even mildly-as family. Even at work, we are unhappy if we do not feel "connected" to our co-workers. I have known Cancerians who have quit good jobs because they did not get on with the other people in their office. Not that we don't give it our all, you understand, and your boyfriend will think long and hard before leaving this relationship for good, but though we do need "mental stimulation", the make or break of any sort of relationship for us comes down to the "connection"...the feelings....
I does not surprise me in the least (though I am sure you were shocked) that your boyfriend would come out with this "absurd" (to anyone outside his own brain) notion that you were expecting him to choose between you and his friends, or even that he thought you were out to humiliate him in front of them! Actually, in a weird and, yes, perverse way, his "panic"was likely a good indication of just how important you have become to him and it seems to me that it took him just as much by surprise! I mean, think about it, two (or more) beloved "family members" are at odds with each other in his eyes...For a Cancerian, you might as well be asking him to tell you which child he loves best! I am not sure how the "humiliation" played out exactly, but it would not at all surprise me that it was some off hand remark you made that he interpreted as a challenge to how much he loved you or his friends...Be that as it may, remember that it all very likely comes back to emotions and very likely the sort of emotions that a loyal family member feels to "his family"
As for him disapearing...well, a lot of that has to do with him being incredibly confused...I mean, besides the whole snapping of claws thing, you've got the realization that you can get to him more than he knew. It's not that that is a bad thing in his mind,it's just shocking, if you see what I mean, and incredibly scary for him because if there is one thig we absolutely do NOT want it is to be hurt, or for people we care about to be hurt. And you can hurt him. I know what you are saying...You are saying "Well, no st, Sherlock! welcome to that thing we call relationships!" I know. HE knows. But he is being wary. If you really want him to not "fade to black", so to speak, you must coax him out of the dned shell. I know that to the Virgo mind, this all seems just too meoldramatic for words but please continue to text him and email him and so on. Nothing heavy, of course, he is a man, after all...Just in a way to let him know that you really do care about him and you really did not realize that you had hurt him as much as you apparently have and that you realize that you must be gentle with his heart...Aghain, not in those words, of course, because hey, man...and any man will likely go screaming off into the night with those words! :):):) But you understand what I am saying. Not to sound harsh towards him but if he really does not want you any more, well, it's up to him to be a man and tell you that. Frankly, the whole not answering you is a good sign in termsof you guys staying together....
A "heads up" for the future: Do not be surprised if he goes through periods of wanting to be alone...It's not that he does not love you etc...It really is that he needs time alone...We tend to put a lot of energy into others and, indeed "the world", if you see what I mean...The "batteries" tend to blow out,if you see what I mean...The reason why I tell you this is because we have a hard time admitting that we need to take care of ourselves, many of us, and so we will "create" ways for you guys to not want to be around us; The whole stereotype of the "crabby crab" is, I am convinced, based on this. Most of my female Cancerian aquaintances, have learned to just be up front with their friends and loved ones and "decalre a vacation". Like and email that says "Hey guys, don't be surprised if you don't hear from me in the next couple of weeks,I need time to recharge..."But the guys often have a harder time with this and so they just get mean or insufferable or just plain ANNOYING so that their girlfriends are the ones to say "hey, give me a call when you have had a civil toungue restored to your mouth, until then, see 'ya wouldn't want to be 'ya!" Actually, a lotof my non Cancerian friends ave taken up this "declaring a vaction" and say they feel much happier because of it.
In short, therefore, my "take" on this is not to worry because with a little coaxing and making him feel he can trust you, I think your guy will be back in no time.
Walk in Beauty, BOTH of you,