Posts made by MascCancer

A friend of mine also made the observation that our relationship mirrored the relationship of friends that are a straight couple. He's a Taurus and shes a Cancer. She broke up with him, like I did and then he dated this nice gal for a year but in the mean time he was still communicating with his cancer woman. A little more than a year later they were back together. You never can say it's one way or the other.

I'm not wasting any time with anyone right now. I am living my own life. If we are meant to be life long friends, then so be it. If we drift apart, then so be it. If we come back together then it is meant to happen. I am not losing sleep over this ... I'm just observing ... it's interesting seeing how people behave. Not all Taurus' are the same 50% of their make up is their upbringing. I know for a fact I am one of the very few people he trusts. If I pull away, that would be devastating for him!

I'm not going to stick around and wait that is for sure. I know we were in a very loving relationship before he started to pull away. I think he was scared about being "That gay couple on the corner". He liked being weekend warriors and getting together in the middle of the week. Going on trips together and doing things together as friends but that Gay Couple on the Corner scared him and when it look like that was the direction it was going to go, he pulled away and started to do passive aggressive stuff to keep me at arms length. Instead of giving him some space during the pull away for him to access things, I panicked and broke it off. 90% of the time it was a great relationship, so that's why it's been very hard.

Couple of Taurus' on here, said he's punishing me and others said he's keeping me in his pocket just in case. Some had said this other guy is just a filler .. A fun guy to hang with while he recharges his batteries. Right now, I am living my own life but keeping communication open with boundaries!

One of our big problems was he always took me for granted! That's not happening any more. Even if he wants to come back, He has to know he can't take me for granted!

Star2u ... I went on a couple dates this week, nothing special. He constantly wants to know if I am dating or not. I don't contact him ... I let him contact me. He always text me or sends me IM's on google chat (haha, just now he sent me a good morning IM). I set boundaries ... Not to meet new bf and not be the first to contact. I don't ask about the new guy because if I do ... then i am validating his new relationship.

He has going out with this new guy for 2.5 months and I think he is finding out things about him that he doesn't like. He got kicked out of a Memorial day party because the owner had history and didn't like his new bf. He asked him why is it that all these people don't like you. He'll figure it out!

I guess I will be there when all the pieces fall around him. I feel this is a life lesson for him!

Sorry Star2U ... it's not that simple. All my friends are through him. I moved here partly for him. I already did the no contact 2 months after we broke up and then 2 weeks after I found out about new guy he was trying to hide from me. I also took myself off of facebook before. If I do that again ... He and our friends would just think I am a flake. I can tell after this weekend of no contact he is feeling more insecure.

star2u ... I ended up having a friend come into town for the memorial day weekend. I did not text my former until he text me Friday after lunch. I waited a couple of hours before I text him back. The rest of the weekend I did not text him at all. He finally text me yesterday saying he had not heard from me and hope I am ok or having a great weekend. I waited another hour or so and replied back that it was non stop all weekend and that I was having a blast! I am getting more and more of a feeling that this new friend of his, is just surface ... superficial. NO WAY will I compromise my integrity or the memory of our relationship by meeting this new guy. This guy has yet to friend any of our friends on facebook, so I am starting to wonder if he has any intentions what so ever of having a long term relationship with my former.

I am going to keep to my guns and stay back ... let him contact me ... not meet this new guy and in the mean time, better myself!

star2u ... I have set boundaries with my former. I will not meet or see him with his new friend. I will NOT accept this guy as his bf. I know he still has very strong feelings for me. I know he thinks about me every minute of the day. I know he has regrets for us being apart, He knows I still love him. He also knows that I accepted our old relationship is over. ONLY way we get back together is to start a new ... a rebirth and in order for that to happen, the old relationship has to be let go ... killed. It was just a chapter in our lives. I accept that. I have heard other Taurus men tell me that I need to fight for him but that he also can't take me for granted. It's a fine line. So I am not totally cutting him of but pulling back and not being totally accessible. Being totally accessible only makes you his doormat.

He sounds abusive to me ... Smoking weed every day let alone a few times a day will make any guy or girl very paranoid. I think you just need to drop this guy and totally cut him out. The difference between our two men and relationships is night and day. My relationship started out as a friendship of four years then blossomed into a relationship. He was never physically abusive to me what so ever. It was a very loving relationship. He just did the pull away thing in year four, I panicked and broke it off instead of just backing away too. Though he's seeing this guy, I think he is very confused. I have pulled back from him twice already and I don't think I can do it again without looking like a fool. The only thing I can do now is make myself less accessible and my life more a mystery to him.

star2u ... if your man text or calls you, don't answer right away. The key to Taurus men is .. if you totally cut off contact ... they will just cut you out! you just can't be there for there every whim.

Star2u ... Your Taurus sounds more bi polar than mine. I think my former has issues stemming back from his childhood and upbringing. the closer her gets emotionally, the more scared he gets and he pulls away physically. Being intimate and happy scares the crap out of him. I did pull back for a couple weeks when I found out he was seeing this guy and he hated it. He ended up getting a puppy. Sounds familiar?

I think he is still very emotionally attached to me and this other guy is the fun physical thing. I posted on my facebook page I couldn't wait until my friend came into town for this long weekend. He text me wanting to know who he was ... He was grumpy the rest of the day. When my friend is in town ... I'm not going to text him at all. You can't let him have his cake and eat it too!

I find Taurus men are very very stubborn and sometimes go into a state of denile when it comes to feelings, facts and emotions. I found out a month ago my former who I was trying to reconcile with had been dating this guy for a month. He is constantly asking me if I have any hot dates and what my plans are for the weekend. He has told me twice that he thinks about me every minute of the day. Yet he is still seeing this guy. So now he finds out that I have a friend from Atlanta coming into town to spend the long weekend with and he's upset. I have had a few Taurus men on here tell me he's pocketing me or thinking of me as back up if this doesn't work out. Who knows but I am backing off and not making myself so available.

I found out today that he's still seeing that guy. He wants us to hang out together. Are you kidding me??? Well I came clean and told him that I have heard this guy wasn't high on character and that I couldn't meet him knowing this stuff without telling him. He didn't get angry with me ... didn't think I was trying to be bitter. He confronted the new guy and of course he denies it... He's an attorney ... smooth talker! We'll see! It's funny that he wants to know what is going on in my personal life and tells me he still thinks of me all the time, yet is seeing this guy. He wants his cake and eat it too!

TT ... Our friends got married Saturday and my former half was an usher. Needless to say, I didn't go. I know one of our friends watched the puppy while he was out of town. So my former Taurus text me and said the wedding and bride looked fantastic. He then asked me how my weekend went? I said I saw Avengers last night. He replies ... Did you have a hot date? You don't have to answer if you don't want. I then waited a few hours and replied ... You know when I have a date it's hot! He replies ... Nice buddy, You know I still think about you all the time! Is he just a confused Taurus or what? Enlighten me please!!!

Update on my Taurus ex. I found out that my former half bought a puppy and had it shipped last Tuesday. He seemed to have purchased this about the same time I said I couldn't be just friends with him. I wonder if you guys think this puppy is a way to occupy him, make him feel better when I said I couldn't just be friends with him? I am also wondering if the new guy is no longer around.

TT8 ... I didn't see anything, I just knew our friends were celebrating his birthday with his new friend and I wasn't there. I knew the past relationship is over and I killed it.

He disparately wants to stay friends, so in order for me to start the process of that to happen, I have to let go of the past ... kill the existing relationship in order to have a rebirth in mind, body and spirit.

I think guys are better about letting go than women. Not sure why.

TT .... You have to understand; for their to be a rebirth or birth, there has to be a death or sacrifice. I did that last night. I realized the CURRENT relationship is over! My main goal is to maintain common friends and my sanity! Like I said ... If he comes to me and say's he wants to get back together ... No more wishy washy! We would have to go to counseling and he has to commit, traveling down the path of real partnership. Right ow I would be happy with a good friendship like he asked for!

TT ... Last night I decided to let it go. I had a talk with my sister, reminiscing about the good run and great experiences we had in our relationship. I thought it was rather prophetic that we started the relationship on my birthday and I felt this relationship was over yesterday on his. When I got home from my sisters, I laid on the floor to mediate and do some yoga and it just hit me ... It's over! I then became overcome with emotion and curled in a fetal position and cried my eyes out. I felt like I just found out he had died. I feel so much better this morning ... a huge weight is lifted off my shoulders! I don't want to be in some weird codependency relationship with no boundaries. It has to be either or! So if he comes to me and says he wants to get back together, then I will tell him it has to be different! We have to be full fledged partners, not just bf's of four years. If we are to be friends, I want it to be healthy and again, not co dependent. So last night on his birthday I killed in my mind the existing relationship I have had with him.

TW8 ... Bad night. Knowing who I still consider my man, was out with our group of friends, and the new swarmy guy, One of them de-friended me on Facebook. If she only knew what was going on!

My sister and I got together tonight and talked about the good things that happened during our relationship. This was never a bad breakup!

Sent my Happy Birthday text to my former. He replied back thank you MascCancer, I really appreciate it. I haven't responded back. My co friend who is going to his house for his birthday dinner tonight, said they are going to try and get a feel for this guy and be true and honest friends.

I know some of you said I need to do this or that with this Taurus. But he had a difficult upbringing and I know issues that he disliked during our relationship. For me to confront him and tell him this guy is bad news ... would be wrong! He thought I never valued his opinion, his taste and things like that (which was wrong). If I did this, it would just validate a big reason he felt like we should part ways.

I believe confusingcancer is right, I need to just lay low until he comes to me now. If this new guy is bad news, he will get that vibe from his loyal friends and start reassessing things.

TW8 ... I talked to my friends Husband and he said that she didn't send the copy of the conversation to him (my former)... They are going to check the new guy out at his birthday gathering tomorrow. He said, if the guy is smarmy, gives them bad vibes they will let him know. He also told me he doesn't know what he is doing ... that he's notice that he's been acting strange too. I'm going to text him a Happy Birthday tomorrow