Hi again everyone,
Shadow, that is really great that you used spirituality to lift you out of a dark place -- I can really relate to what you were saying as well. Now as an adult looking back I can see waht I didn't really understand before. what I mean is taht growing up I didn't really get how what was going on in my household really wasn't right, and that the trubulence was not only coming from within. The whole thing was pretty much a nightmare. Now my family and I are totally distant. We act civil to each other occasionally, mostly I guess just to make believe that the ties are not, well, I could say broken but I don't think they really existed in the first place. I guess to make believe that the ties actually exist in the first place, though for whose benefit we go through these motions, I don't even know. Like I posted before, I try to tell myself that I am just going through a dark time and that things will cahnge and get better. I try to believe that but I don't really. On some days it is harder to pretend than others. I have attempted suicide before as well but not since I was a teen. I feel these feelings coming back more and more lately, through.
Number, that is some pretty good advice about positive self talk. I totally do believe in the power of positive thinking, I only wish I could do it. I know I know everyone says that practice makes perfect but every time I try I just feel like I am kidding myself. Sorry to make such a depressing post! I guess what I originally meant to say is that it was uplifiting to see others that have managed to get away from their own dark places. I do like the concept of a greater meaning, or a bigger picture to life, and using faith to keep going but I guess I am really a cold-blooded atheist at heart.
Peace and be well