Jenever7,

I have not been around for quite some time, but do stop off regularly to read the posts. I just need to say that you and all the others (there is an exception) have helped me so much in understanding my situation and without this help who knows where I would be today. It was truly a blessing to have found this thread. Everyone has a right to an opinion, but not to hurt others.

Thank you all so much. Perhaps when I get it more figured out, I'll come back and tell you how it all turned out, but I am not there yet.

Blessings to all.

Malaika

Hello again,

It is now Saturday evening and I have something to say.

At this time I am hoping that he never contacts me again because then there will be no opportunity for me to "melt" and get caught up in the same old. OTOH I would be upset if he never cared enough to bother. I just wanted to say where I am at because there may be others out there in the same position and thinking that they alone.

M

Good Afternoon,

Jenever, I do hope you are recovering and in better spirits today. It was a breath of fresh air to read your last post as I too am getting really sick of all the behaviours exhibited by my Virgo. Now, let me say that I don't necessarily believe that the Virgo aspect should take all the blame. They just might be bad examples of a man and because we have all come to this thread they, of course, are all Virgos.

You said it perfectly - they should man up... Yes, wouldn't that be a refreshing change. I am still in anger mode, although it has decreased some the last day. You are right when you say that I am not sure of what I want. I really don't know what I would do if I were given the opportunity to make a choice. I do know what I don't want and that is this type of behaviour in another be it friend or love. I am just sick and tired of it. I do feel sorry that this is the way it is ending. I say ending because I managed to go through one whole week without contacting him and that is really saying something. I could never have managed it without the support from this thread and you all have my eternal thanks. I am not saying that this is THE END, but I am making very good progress.

I am looking forward to being able to get a shoe/sandal on next week and so be able to get out and about again which will be so good for me. More later.

Hugs

Malaika

Jenever,

I hope you are feeling much better.

Well, He never responded!!!! He was on yahoo and skype, but didn't respond - just logged off.

I sent a skype message (he was on a few minutes later, but had already started the message) saying that logging off without responding was like a slap in the face and a swift sword going right through me. That was on Friday and as of now nothing, nada, zero. He was on both Monday and Tuesday. He uses skype a lot for conference calls with sponsors in other countries.

Yesterday and today I am in anger mode. I won't write what I am thinking because it would probably get deleted!!! Now instead of wishing for him to call I actually watch the screen and dare him to call. Of course, if he did, I have no idea of how I would respond. Calm and cool - Go Away - ignore etc.

I really hate this. I finally put slippers on today and went to the supermarket. Tomorrow will be two weeks that I have been homebound. Perhaps when I go out and about it will help me clear my mind. Sure, hope so.

How are doing doing with your Virgo man? I am still thinking about the seven kids!

Bye for now

M

Hi Jodeesd,

I am sorry for your situation as I can "hear" you are distraught. Jenever7 posed the questions that need answers.

I do hope you don't have to wait years for a resolution.

M

Jenever,

Are you OK. We haven't heard from you for days and I am concerned about you. If all is well, please tell us.

Sending good wishes,

Malaika

Jenever,

Well, so much for strength! We had a video call this morning and I won't go into it all. Suffice to say that with the laugh while he said "marry me" and the ending of I love you - hand on heart, and the I miss you, I just fell apart.

He wants me to come back so much. A visa is no problem for me. Also, the ticket is not a big issue. But, for him both are big issues.

Ten minutes later I left him a message, as he was still on skype. I can't believe I said this, but here goes......"Go to the Canadian High Commission and see if you can get a visa. I'll bet you haven't even tried yet. I will find an airline ticket. I would like you to see my on my home turf for a month". This was followed by a small red heart that throbs (one of those emoticom things or whatever they are called. I swore that I would never finance a man, but if I went there I would have the airline ticket as well as accom etc.... How's that for rationalizing!

Malaika

Jenever,

I forgot about my Virgo. Yes, he skyped me first thing this a.m., but I got a text message because I was not online at the time. I responded within minutes and told him to try to catch me later and after waiting half an hour I went off line. He never did try to call again. I will not continue to be available all the time. This, I promised myself since April 1st. Unfortunately he has been away and I never really had a chance to see how strong I am. Tomorrow will be a true test for me.

Malaika,

Jenever, how are you doing? I can't stop thinking about seven kids! You are so right that it would take a very strong relationship to handle that blended family. You are such a strong and insightful woman that I feel if you decided to go that way you would surely make a success of it. Don't let that be your concern, your will KNOW.

Malaika

Jenever

So sorry I didn't see your post before I sent mine.

I am happy for you and it truly looks as if things might just be moving forward. He would leave with his kids - well that sure is familiar to me!

Yes, you are right, this thread is so beneficial to many. I am one who is so grateful to have found it and will not leave completely, but there are some things that I do not want out on the WWW that is so easy to find.

I have not heard anything, but he has been away and rarely if ever does he communicate on a Sunday. I do hope I hear from him this week, though. I want to see what transpires. What he says and how I react. When I don't hear from him it is easy to say I'll do this and that and be stronger, but then........

I no longer IM him because when he is on he is busy doing work stuff and I only skyped him once and he was quite curt when he answered, but soon "melted". It was quite obvious that I interrupted work. And, only when absolutely necessary will I send him an email anymore. In the last month, only twice. I am putting it in his court.

Take care of yourself

Malaika