What can you make out of this?
35 years later, I reconnect with a crush I had in HS. He was 16 I was 14. Our feelings for each other at that time was there but never had the chance to be articulated.. or else it would have been another Romeo and Juliet love story where our parents were concerned. We shared a few moments together, a few sweet dances at school and a walk home.
He eventually left for college. Surprisingly, he and his family moved to a house shared by a a former classmate of mine. She was the sweetest thing and when she wrote me that this guy was the cutest, I just presumed that they were going out together. End of my fantasies of him Life went on.
However, there was this last dance that if I went back to it in my memory would be so intense...and the song we danced to when I heard it over the years would so remind me of that dance...and I kept that memory.
In college, I eventually found out, he had never had a girl friend. He used to watch a movie over and over again about young love which reminded him so much for me and his awkward teenage moments. He never had a girl friend while in college for some reasons.
I had relationships, but never found the one that I connected emotionally, mentally, spiritually. I was not in a hurry to marry but eventually did with someone (cancer) whiom I shared such intense physical connection.
Anyway, after 35 years we reconnected online through our school website. In less than a week,
we were both emotional wrecks... expressing feelings that we were not able to express when we were younger and trying to fill in the years we were apart/
When I sent my picture... he realized that his wife and I had almost the same eyes...
When I sent him my husbands picture.... there was also the strong resemblance.
His marriage is a mess; mine is fine. We communicate almost everyday IM ;he calls every other week, we are half way the world from each other... we share a supportive friendship... after realizing that the complications./responsibilities in our respective lives wont allow us to live our fantasies of being together...the way we want it to be.
he makes me happy.. but sometimes, I just want to let go and get a dose of cold water splashed on my face. we both came back to each other's lives as if on cue... like how souldmates are meant to meet. Lately, he is going through so many challenges in almost all directions of his life... maybe the reason we've reconnected... for me to be here as a friend.
we are both pisces.
surprisingly, important men in my life are either cancer or pisces.