Thank you for your reply -
Iam a Leo also and the last 2 men I have been with were both cancers. The recent one was/is my best friend. He did the same thing to me. We started dating and he slept with his old girlfriend. I broke it off right away. But he would not stay out of my life and we became friends again. He talks all the time about things that friends shouldnt talk about and he even said to me he thinks we should start dating again. Ugh, I think it is best to just stay friends. (They are so very hard to find) Let him know thats what you want and nothing more."
Well you have sure hit the nail on the head! The Cancer I had been so in love with, loyal and dated for so long and intended to marry (at his constant urging) did a little more than sleep with an ex - and the first time it happened, Ieft too - we had no contact and didn't speak for near 6 months. Just when I was over missing him (and I found that I missed that easy, fun and just great intimate best friendship more than anything else) , I got an email from him, inviting me to join him on myspace! So, I did, thinking that we could still be friends - and we were! The best of friends once again, but he couldn't leave well enough alone and insisted on renewing the romance -
Believe me Cancerians can be VERY determined and persuasive when it comes to something or someone he wants. That's where I went wrong. Should've just kept it at the friendship level, which, with a Cancer - since they tend to have very few friends - was wonderful, and, in retrospect, was the most emotionally satisfying part of our relationship.
However, he could not leave well enough alone. His biggest attraction to me was the fact that after my husband had died in an accident, I'd made the decision to not date at all, that devoting my time and energy to my then infant daughter was the right thing to do. So, I didn't date or have casual flings - no men at all, I didn't want my daughter to attach to someone that wasn't going to be in her life after having just lost her father. The fact that I had made such a decision, plus the fact that my husband had been the first and only man I'd been intimate with was an enourmous turn on for this Cancer male - I was as close to virgin as he'd ever met! He truly treasured that fact, and I loved him for it - he didn't mind my sexual awkwardness and made sure I soon got over it - on the down side, he loved me for this because it gave him a sense of power - "I get to mold you into my ideal sexual mate" , said he.
This last event, our missed vacation due to my daughter needing me, was a deal breaker as far as he was concerned - which was unfair, since he had been behaving as a loving step-father toward her, since we were soon to be married. Meh, it was hard, but I didn't answer his calls at first, and yes, just as you said, he came back - I'm being unfair I suppose to say that this Cancer man came back to just punish me for hurting his feelings or whatever,
My daughter missed him, and though I was discouraged enough and angry enough to never speak to him again, I did so for her sake, explaining that he and I were going to be friends only - she should not expect a new daddy in this man - she was accepting of this, since one of the most wonderful qualities in Cancer men is their love for children, their sense of paternal responsibility toward children that are not their own, their love of the sense of "home" and completeness that a child adds to his romantic relationships. Cancer men, once committed, at least to a child, are very protective of them and refuse to abandon what to them is a loving duty to guide and protect.
HOWEVER, our wonderful friendship, the usual long talks and laughs etc, soon turned him to try and renew the romance - though, I was supposed to earn his love and trust all over again, even though we both knew, rationally, that I'd done nothing to destroy it in the first place. I was confused since he does love my child that he felt betrayed that I needed to put her first and miss our vacation - but I think I've figured it out: he felt betrayed, PERHAPS, that I didn't ask him to cancel his vacation and spend the time with me, helping me take care of my child ( we were going to spend it with his family, meet his sister's new baby) - I didn't ask him to do this because he hasn't seen his family in a very long time, and I felt that I was doing the right thing by letting him visit with them on his own. He was offended and I was damned if I did and damned if I didn't - I don't think this is particular to Cancer, but they do take familial obligations very seriously and he considered/still considers myself and my child as his family too.
Well, due to his decidely non-familial lack of fidelity and need to cheat during this vacation and then BLAME ME for his cheating - I too say "Ugh" to the whole relationship.
I'll miss my Cancer's friendship - but he refuses to leave it at that. And, I refuse his demands to "prove" my love and loyalty. It's been a demeaning experience and a huge mistake to make when dealing with a very loyal Leo woman. But, meh, you're right - he'll be back, even after I tell him about my decision to date the new admirer. It'll probably become a issue with him, a project (he just loves projects and the security of goals and planning his future, on his terms).
But, when a Leo woman does finally decide to leave and her emotions are freed enough to do so, that's it, no turning back. I think this is true for every woman, no matter the sign. However, stripping a Leo of her dignity is a whole other matter, and he crossed the line when he did that. That's my deal breaker.
P.s. - I just received the freshest dozen White Roses from the local florist - from the Sag, the note said he hoped he wasn't being too forward, but he decided to send them because he is so looking forward to our date this week. Prior to this, he was just around in the background, patiently waiting, it seems. I am, so far, very impressed.
Thanks for you insightful and very true reply