I know kissing is physical, but I meant more than that, obviously.
I agree. I tend to think of negative scenarios first. This is definitely a trait of mine that I do need to correct.
Yes, 23 is pretty immature. I was 23 once, so I know what is like. You want one thing one day and the opposite the next. He also lacks confidence which makes him more vulnerable to my 'harshness' to a degree. I know what I want, so it can be pretty tough for him to deal with me. I've already been through many disfynctional dynamics, more specifically one when I was 23-24 and it taught me a lot. I remained singles for two years afterwards, until I started dating this Leo. So I've already experienced the stage he's currently in and I'm viewing the situation from his standpoint with the lense of my 23-year old self (he reminds me a lot of myself then, minus the drinking).
He actually told me I was the 'most interesing' and 'smartest' person he's ever met. He repeated many times I'm 'marriage material'. He kept on bragging about my 'intelligence' to his friends in front of me and even in private. Hence, I'm fully aware he knows my true value, but the problem is that he does not know how to deliver. His lack of confidence combined with his limited finances and past rejections were the recipe for him not being able to deal with this situation properly.
I have to admit though. When we reconnected, I was 100% focused on work. Work is my main priority because I want to achieve great success. I have been working very very hard and him coming along was amazing, but professional success remains my main focus because I know it's what is going to satisfy me in the long run. He knew work was my main focus.
Yes, his career is still in the 'laying foundations' stage. He said he actually looks up to me from a professional view-point because the trajectory I took with my career is one he would like to pursue too. I think he's very traditional and therefore felt slightly inadequate that I would be the one being ahead of him, sometimes paying on dates while he's struggling with student loans ... He actually told me the aforementioned blatantly. He told me he felt inadequate because he's struggling financially and he's dating me, which means he cannot deliver to the standards I'd expect (all in his head).
To be honest, he did all the chasing. I only chased once, it was when I set up the last date to make up for my rejection. That was the only time I chased because I knew the ball was in my court. Other than this time, I didn't chase once. He did all the work.
However, when you say: The time apart without you chasing will do him some good too .. Do you mean this 'relationship' was stressing him out?
My take on it is this time apart is fine by me, because I can give myself to work and to other things that need my attention, but I still want to eventually be talking/seeing him again. So, in other words, can time apart like this make him come back to me on his own or will it just push him the other way?
I won't intervene and reach out, but I'm just curious as to the thought process.