Thanks Moon!!

Well, I don't particularly seek closure with him. On the contrary, if he had his act together, I'd gladly keep him in my life. I don't want to remove him from my life at all. He means a lot to me and he's by far the most interesting man I've ever met, but his issues have a way of ruining everything.

As far as the distance is concerned, he's the one who created it. One day, we stopped communicating but everything was fine between us. We didn't fight, we kissed each other and that was it. Hence, my confusion, he could have contacted me!

In terms of change, are we talking career-wise or just socially? I'm not entirely sure I understand. This sounds exciting though

Thanks again!

Thanks for this moon! I truly appreciate this reading. At first glance, it looked confusing, but after rereading it, it makes a whole lot of sense!

Unfortunately, I do not know any little boy or girl that's 2 or 3. That said, I believe you picked up on the last man I dated (who caused this chaos in my life) as he is 3 years younger than me. That must probably be the 3 that came up. He's a very bubbly guy through very very immature, hence the fact he probably came up as a 'kid'.

However, my love life is indeed a chaos now. I'm torn between reaching out to him and moving on. I'm at a crossroads. We're not speaking and I don't even know why. We just stopped texting each other, but there was no fight involved. It just happened. I deeply care about him, but our dynamic was very up and down/challenging. Then, my logic is telling me to move on because he will not change, not in the immediate future at least. Yet, part of me knows he was meant to be in my life.

It is however true that I indeed did remove a lot of people from my life. Most people from my past are now an old memory. However, I'm slightly indecisive regarding him. He's part of my past but he's also part of my present because he came into my life twice, when I was starting over both times, in different locations.

What do you reckon I should do? I've never been this confused regarding my love life. I'm not sure whether to let go or try and see what's going on on his end. Heck, I don't even know why he hasn't communicated with me in weeks.

I'm super confused.

Thank you again This was a really on point reading.

Hello,

Thanks for offering.

May I please get one?

Thank you!

No, my love is not conditional. What on earth are you talking about?

What I meant was I tried my best to help him out because I cared for him and now I'm left with the pain instead of the happiness of having him in my life. Of course, I was not looking for a return from his end. I wasn't supportive just to get something in return, what an idea! I'm talking about the trajectory it took.

Besides, he already liked me before dated and before he had his issues. He was chasing me and since we worked together, I didn't want to get involved.

Thanks for your answer captain.

I told him many times he needs to stop drinking. During our last date, I told him he finds any excuse to drink and then he took it oddly saying I called him an 'alcoholic'. He afterwards admitted his consumption is 'enormous'.

We also spoke about smoking because he brought it up as a joke. I told him I know he smokes and he said no. I then argued that it was plain obvious and I don't believe him. Then he went on some bizarre talk about hard drugs, made no sense to me.

That last date was oddly enough all about his issues which he brought up as a joke, yet it was obvious there was more to it.

I care about him a lot though. He's acting like I don't exist, so me pushing him to seek help is not going to happen at this stage. It hurts me a lit because when he was not high onn alcohol, he was amazing. We had a beautiful connection. The best I've ever had and I've had many great connections.

I never said he was an alcoholic per she. He just said he drank enormous amounts of alcohol.

As far as taking it personally - how could I not? I have feelings for him. I opened up to him after three years of no dating at all. I had/have real feelings for him and he's been acting as though my existence is irrelevant. It was a huge step for me to put myself out there, especially with him since I had strong feelings from the get go. I'm obviously hurt.

He indeed has slight ego issues and can only see things through his own lense. However, when I met him, he was not like that. He was very kind and generous. It seems as though him moving over here for college got to his head. When he initially got here and didn't have many friends (and therefore didn't party at all), he was rather 'normal' and I found in him the guy I liked back then. However, it seems as though his social life has taken another turn and he chose to leave me in the ditch.

I was there for him when he was talking about his financial struggles. I supported him and helped him understand that it's only a phase. When he was looking for a post-degree job, I was very supportive and kept praising his abilities, boosting his confidence.

When we fought, I always tried to talk to him to understand whether I upset him and once he shut me down for three weeks. I apologized even though I did nothing.

When we had dates, it was either on his schedule or not at all. I always tried to rearrange nt schedule to see him and cater to his schedule even though he's a student and I'm a professional with other obligations outside of work.

Yet, this is what I get in return? I can't believe it. I really am hurt, baffled, confused and feel utterly disrespected.

This story has my mind going round and round in circles without me understanding what happened.

Two years ago I met a younger Leo guy. There was a strong interest in each other from the get go. However, we bickered often. He wound up leaving the company 6 months later and we didn't remain in touch despite being friends on FB. He remained in my thoughts long after.

About a year later, I moved to another country halfway across the continent. Roughly a month after my move, I found out he was moving to the same city for college.

About two months after his move, we started talking and the bond was intense. We'd talk all day everyday and saw each often. One day, we had a fight and he walked out on me during our date. I texted him and got zero response. He didn't speak to me for three weeks! Then, he came back, but I was still hurt. So hurt, that when he tried to kiss me, I froze and pushed him away.

Understandanly, he got hurt and didn't really speak to me for a while. I reached out to him to organize a date. We saw each other and I kissed him to make up for my mistake. He was very affectionate then, but he hasn't spoken to me since the date three weeks ago. During that date, he disclosed his alcohol issues. He found it easy to confide in me.

The problem is that although I understand I may have hurt him, I don't understand he decided to toss me to the side like this. I'm beyond confused and hurt. I thought he cared about me, especially as he'd asked me to trust his intentions towards me.

The moment I let my guard down, he ran away.

Will he ever come back? At least to provide an explanation ?

Thank you!

Thanks watergirl

I know kissing is physical, but I meant more than that, obviously.

I agree. I tend to think of negative scenarios first. This is definitely a trait of mine that I do need to correct.

Yes, 23 is pretty immature. I was 23 once, so I know what is like. You want one thing one day and the opposite the next. He also lacks confidence which makes him more vulnerable to my 'harshness' to a degree. I know what I want, so it can be pretty tough for him to deal with me. I've already been through many disfynctional dynamics, more specifically one when I was 23-24 and it taught me a lot. I remained singles for two years afterwards, until I started dating this Leo. So I've already experienced the stage he's currently in and I'm viewing the situation from his standpoint with the lense of my 23-year old self (he reminds me a lot of myself then, minus the drinking).

He actually told me I was the 'most interesing' and 'smartest' person he's ever met. He repeated many times I'm 'marriage material'. He kept on bragging about my 'intelligence' to his friends in front of me and even in private. Hence, I'm fully aware he knows my true value, but the problem is that he does not know how to deliver. His lack of confidence combined with his limited finances and past rejections were the recipe for him not being able to deal with this situation properly.

I have to admit though. When we reconnected, I was 100% focused on work. Work is my main priority because I want to achieve great success. I have been working very very hard and him coming along was amazing, but professional success remains my main focus because I know it's what is going to satisfy me in the long run. He knew work was my main focus.

Yes, his career is still in the 'laying foundations' stage. He said he actually looks up to me from a professional view-point because the trajectory I took with my career is one he would like to pursue too. I think he's very traditional and therefore felt slightly inadequate that I would be the one being ahead of him, sometimes paying on dates while he's struggling with student loans ... He actually told me the aforementioned blatantly. He told me he felt inadequate because he's struggling financially and he's dating me, which means he cannot deliver to the standards I'd expect (all in his head).

To be honest, he did all the chasing. I only chased once, it was when I set up the last date to make up for my rejection. That was the only time I chased because I knew the ball was in my court. Other than this time, I didn't chase once. He did all the work.

However, when you say: The time apart without you chasing will do him some good too .. Do you mean this 'relationship' was stressing him out?

My take on it is this time apart is fine by me, because I can give myself to work and to other things that need my attention, but I still want to eventually be talking/seeing him again. So, in other words, can time apart like this make him come back to me on his own or will it just push him the other way?

I won't intervene and reach out, but I'm just curious as to the thought process.

Thank you for your post watergirl

A change regarding work? What you just said is scaring me a bit. I highly doubt so, for me at least since I just solidifiyed my position yesterday.

Is it a negative change? Are you saying someone is going to lose their job?

However, he's a graduate student who accepted a job in his home country, but he's still seeking opportunities, just in case.

The fight had nothing to do with getting physical. We fought before it even came close to kissing. It was simply a misunderstanding and he was slightly intoxicated that night. We just fought because he got mad for no apparent reason and I got upset over something he said.

I understand he's confused. However, I've had strong feelings for him for two years. I really wanted this to happen, but when he tried to kiss me, I was still upset because of the fight. After that fight, he didn't speak to me for three weeks! I was still mad and re-assessed everything. Hence, the 'I want to take it slow'.

To be honest, he didn't push to get physical. He just wanted to kiss me, but I was still hurt because he walked out on me during a date and didn't respond to my messages for three weeks. Then, he tried to kiss me. It was a bit hard.

Before thinking about rushing on a physical level, I'm already seeking to know how to get him to talk to me again or re-ignite contact. That would be a good step to start with

I have not bothered him since our last date. I thanked him after the date and have not reached out since. I've definitely learned my lesson when I was younger according to which chasing a man pushes them away.

What do you reckon I should do? Will he ever come back?

After all, he was really chasing me at work two years ago and when we reconnected.