Hi all, Happy New Year to everyone, I hope this year brings you all everything that you wish for yourselves. Good health, happiness, and wealth to those that wish it, peace of mind to everyone and most of all, love.
I am sorry I have been away for so long. I really have missed you all so much. I popped by to read up, but couldn't contribute. Too hard. It has been easier to be on FB where everything is more superficial than here!! This forum only reminds me of Scorp and I am still trying so hard to forget him.;-((
Last time I posted, I told you all that we had broken up (again!). Since September, there has been no contact, and I have been trying so hard to get on with my life by keeping busy, avoiding anything that would remind me of him and was just about managing to get by. At the end of they year I promised myself that I would start this year Scorp free. I deserved to be treated better!
Until ....... 2.45 am on New Years Day.
Scorp texted me to wish me a happy new year, told me he had been at a party and had been thinking about me and would never forget me.He apologised for everything he had put me through. THEN he told me that he had met someone he liked when he had been out, but couldn't get me out of his head, and couldn't function, because I KNEW him. I was trying so hard to be nice, even though it was killing me to say that eventually I would disappear from his head, that it would be an adventure getting to know someone new, etc. It was awful!!!!! I cried so much as I was replying. He didn't say if he was seeing her, or how long he had known her but I am guessing he was.
Then he told me thanks for talking to him, "luv you. forever. mean it" . Ten minutes later he texted to say he didn't want to be with anyone else, he loved me, so much. Repeated in a further text "I luv you. Yes you" Asked what he would have to do to be with me, told me I meant everything to him and that he wanted to see me. I told him to sleep on it and contact me when he woke. NOTHING!!! That was it.
So, he came around, rubbed my nose in the fact he has someone new and broke my heart all over again. He chose HER.
Why would anyone do something like that?? Why couldn't he just leave me alone? Why reopen the wounds and then pour a ton of salt on them???? It was cruel and heartless.
I still can't bring myself to hate him. I don't know how to. He was (is, if I am being honest) the love of my life and I don't know how to cope.
My first move though is to buy a new phone. I don't need any more grief. but I am not sure I will be able to switch of the old one! Help!!!!!!!
I am really struggling. There is someone trying their hardest to be with me, but I can't do it. I can't hurt anyone because Scorp has done it to me.
I did seriously consider telling S that I had met someone too, to get him out of my hair but mainly to provoke a reaction. I have always been constant, waiting, while he was the one who was always disappearing. But I don't like lying, and I hate playing mind games.
Any suggestions folks????
(apart from mega doses of anti-depressants - don't want to go that route either!!!)