I am also bipolar; but I take my meds every day. I will NOT cut out my morning coffee, and enable his warped thinking....that is just what he believes-that he can change and mold me like a piece of soft clay.....into what HE wants me to be, instead of accepting and loving me for myself.
He did not quit using for me, but to save his own life....we did not marry the first time round; our marriage is our first for both of us......you must understand, this man presented himself as someone he was not. After we married, his true self came out and now rules him. He is a steadfast control freak who demands that I pay for EVERYTHING, absolutely everything, that I want or need, even. Batteries for my mp3 player, clothes, shoes, makeup, womanly needs, my new computer, my meds.........everything. He gets 4x the money I do monthly; I am disabled and recieve far less than him, and since I must pay my own way, I now find I cannot save up any substantial nest egg for myself-or even enough to get out on my own again.
I am trapped.
He is an artist, a painter, and freely spends money on his painting, yet refuses to spend money on me-his WIFE.
He does all the grocery shopping, as well-I am "not allowed to" because "what I buy is 'frivolous'". I have Neuropathy (nerve damage and pain 24 hours a day, even with taking Lyrica for it.) in my lower legs and feet, and now it is beginning to move up my legs....in the mornings, when I first get up, I find myself walking like a crippled duck.
The neuropathy stems from a low vitamin b defiency....in other words, there is NOT enough meat in my diet, yet my husband becomes angry when I DO use my own money to buy meat for us.
I can't win.
There is more, but I just wanted you all to understand SOME of what I live with every day. I know I love my husband, even with all this, but he is bordering on emotionally abusing me, as I believe I have shown.
He refuses counseling of any/all kind-as long as he is happy in his own lil world, life is fine.
For him, mebbe. I feel trapped, duped, rejected and frustrated.
Being disabled, I can't work to make money to leave.....and what I recieve is never enough to begin saving.
I fear I must accept my lot, whether I like it or not-and simply cope.
I have no other recourse.