Ok, so I had someone very close to me leave my life in frankly a cowardly or indifferent way. I've had two psychic readings telling me that this person is not out of my life- just off to the side for now. Frankly, I refused to believe it and don't want this person back in my life just because of the strides I've made on my own. I recently had a dream about this person out of nowhere and decided to do my own tarot reading. I asked my higher self to provide insight into this situation, whether or not there will be reconciliation (I don't want it- I want to move on and I wanted to know this person is gone for good so I do not hang on to any type of hope), and if they did come back, advice for how to handle it. I received the following:
Position 1/self: High priestess (rx)
Position 2/what crosses me: Ace of batons
Position 3/what's above me: Ace of swords (rx)
Position 4/what's beneath me: Page of cups
Position 5/the past: page of batons
Position 6/the future: Ace of pentacles (rx)
Position 7/advice: 7 of wands (rx)
Position 8/what I need to know/external influences: Knight of wands
Position 9/hopes/fears: The world
Position 10/outcome: The empress
A few things to note, I'm using the Marseilles deck so some cards are hard to interpret in reverse only because they are highly symmetrical cards. The only giveaway is the teenie tiny roman numeral number in the corner. This applies specifically to the Ace of pentacles (future) and 7 of batons (advice).
If I'm to interpret this correctly, I'm currently out of harmony and disconnected from my intuition (high priestess). The ace of wands as a challenge is hard to interpret- I feel like it signals new beginnings and all good things. Maybe I'll be challenged to accept these things? Of going with the flow?
Above me is the Ace of Swords (rx). Again, ace signals new beginnings, but a reversed sword means not claiming power- feeling anxiety, need for protection?
Past: Page of batons: the page of wands/baton is often childlike and naive. Perhaps how the situation was handled by the other person/perhaps my naivety regarding the situation while it was happening.
Beneath Me: Page of Cups: open to intuitive messages- I am connecting this to my present situation/high priestess reversed. I'm receiving messages but refusing to accept them?
Future: Ace of pentacles: If I interpret it without reversed meaning- this is a card of abundance. If I use the reverse, it's a card of caution. Lost opportunity? An end to something? I'm not sure how to interpret this.
Advice: 7 of wands (rx): Again, another card I don't know to interpret reversed or not since it's completely symmetrical in the Swiss Mersailles deck. Protect myself? Stand my ground? Give up?
External Influences/how I affect others and how they affect me: Knight of wands: Is this saying I'm impulsive? If so, my mouth is definitely impulsive. It also is action/motivation. Maybe not my own?
Hopes/Fears: The world: Success, balance, This is obviously what I want for myself. How would I interpret it as a fear? The lack of these things?
Outcome: The empress- pregnancy/birth. New beginnings.
If I look at this as a whole, I have a card from every suit- but most notably am wands heavy. Honestly it fills me with anxiety to say that this person will be barging impulsively back into my life and I'm going to have to find a way to deal with it (proceed with caution, defend myself, stand my ground on how I feel) but the outcome should be positive? It would be great if someone could tell me otherwise or provide their opinion on the matter.
Thanks so much in advance!