Yes, I understand what you are saying and if I didn't say before..I went through this junk with my FIRST husband! I ended up going to a womens shelter at that time and they helped me get him evicted since I had the lease on the apt that we rented. I got married to him @ 31 and thought I was emotionally prepared for it but he is just dysfunctional...alocholic parents etc...
A year later enters the guy I still talk to and think about but goes no where and I know I am not ready for it. Shorty after I meet second husband who now constantly reminds me how he buys me clothes, a car, pays for things etc etc etc...I'm really not materialistic and I think it pis**es him off. Yes nothing is ever good enough but he is a bigger pig than I am.
I went to my therapist on Friday and we called the local women's shelter where I have an appt on Tues.
At this moment, I am just trying to stay away from him, I have a gyne appt on Monday as something is not right..elevated testosterone..I have had cysts in the past and she wants to do a d &c..is freaking me out.
I don't want this man at all..he drives me crazy, yelling at me for an hour last night how I never do anything for him and "will I ever"??? yeesh!
I don't even respond since it seems worse to have a point in the argument and he gets more angry. I have resorted to playing dumb which is totally out of my character.
Right now I am on disability from two past car accidents 10 years ago..fibryomyalgia/depression/anxiety... and I am not a US citizen yet so I have no way of going on medicare. it is so messed up. (againI am from Canada)
I guess my ultimate goal would be to get back to Pittsburgh, get a small apt somehow get support from him and medical coverage and be able to see my son more. I do have 50% physical custody but am just not able to handle being a full time mom. My son is autistic and ADHD.
I really appreciate all the input from all of you...makes me cry when I realize how close my problems or thinking are related to yours.