I too am a survivor of insect and other childhood abuse!
I too have lived in the shadow of both of my ex husbands and I too kept going for the WRONG kind of guy. That is just what this type of abuse does to us, IF WE LET IT
I made that mistake not knowing that it was a mistake back then.
I so agree with "Ahliyah"........get some counseling ASAP......first and foremost, forgive yourself, regain your self respect, learn to love yourself and love yourself for who you are.
But until you do this and I quote "you have to do this for yourself and yourself ONLY"
Once you have accomplished this, you will gain this ever so liberating power ........your self esteem ....and it will rise sky high and everything will fall into its place all by it self!!!
I also agree very very strongly with "DALIA"
The bar was a good way for you to at least finally step out of your shell.......BUT, trust me, true love you will not find there, you WILL just make a easy target for those that are NOT the RIGHT KIND OF GUY and you WILL go for "that guy" over and over again......I am very much speaking from loads of experience........I was a bartender for 15 years.(I am 47 by the way)
Now I am a artist/motorcycle rally promoter/webmistress, but most of all I am a very happy single mom
The true love you need to find is within yourself.......true love for yourself!!!!!!!!!
And never EVER forget to think & feel positive. The positive that is true within your soul and is true with the universe will always void out the negative....but remember this is true vise versa.
If you have never heard of a video called "The Secret" you have got to check it out.....TRUST ME GIRL!!!
I watch it as often as I feel the need and it has help me so much!!!
Copy the link below and paste it in your browser exactly as I put it.You should get a page that has 5 ........20 minute sections (and dont worry about having to order it..this version is FREE, just click on the little arrow in the screen to begin)
Let me know if you have trouble viewing it!!!!
I wish you all that ..........That I wish upon myself my dear!!!