OMG u sure ur not dating my cancer guy he is exacly wat u just described, everything and I mean everything. down to the untruthfulness. I give him lots of sapce and everytime he comes running back.
A Psychic flat out and coldly told me my ex was never in love with me and would never come back. After 1 yr and a 4 months of dating I decided to let it go. I was feeling his distance and was afraid he was going to leave me high and dry so I did it first. Can any one tell me heere if Im gonna find somebody who truly love me and when? I dont feel like im capapble of ever loving again and Dont feel that anyone will love me I stiil do love my ex.
Octoberlibra leave the guy alone, respect wht he asks for dont read into nothing he says or does let him reach out to you. let it be. Im going through the same thing as you believe me, Im dying inside becaz I love this guy so much and even when I go out I dont enjoy myself becaz he is not there. when i wake up he is the first thing i think about , sometimes all day. and the last thing at nite beore i go to sleep. but i can guarantee u one thing I doubt highly he thinks of me the way i think of him. But i leave him alone trusdt me its hard but I do it. I deleted him off my facebook, I dont go no where I know he bound to show up, I basically vanished off the face of the earth. He keeps reaching out but I didnt respond back. I dont say thst the way u should do it I just say leave the guy alone, cry if u have to, trust me I feel like my poor heart has taken a beating for a month I cried. So its not that I dont understand I do.
I got this info from it was so helpful thought I would share. It was little things blogs like these which help me through.
tOPIC NAME : IM NOT READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW LETS BE FRIENDS
"A. Fallen hopelessly in love with someone, but they simply “aren’t ready;” So they say at least. So what do you do? Pour more love and attention on them of course! Then they will surely fall for your charm and see how great you are for them! They keep sending you mixed signals. They eat up all you offer one minute and the next they’re flat out refusing to partake in it. What gives?
B. Run into someone that is highly receptive to you, but you’re not willing to commit. They’re sweet, kind and caring to you. Sometimes you fall into the moment and bounce the ball back into their court and play the game. Then stop. Then start again. Then realize how wrong it is. You don’t feel right, but you don’t want to hurt this wonderful person, either. Maybe time will change your mind?
Sound familiar? It’s a nightmare! What can we do it about it, though?
Plenty. If you’re Person A, please don’t get caught in this whirlwind. If you hear “I’m not ready” it’s time to let it go. Perhaps you’ve even heard, “I feel like you’re pressuring me. Can’t we take things slow for now?” If the object of your interest doesn’t reciprocate and isn’t on the same page as you, forget it. You can’t make them! No matter how wonderful and fantastic you are, you’ll get hurt. It takes two to play this game, but one to walk away.
I know, I know. “But he/she is so great for me. We have so much in common…It’s only a matter of time before we’re together.” The truth about this spider web is both sides know the truth. We’re lying to ourselves for this moment of pleasure…in exchange for what seems like an eternity of pain. Protect that fragile heart, no one else will. At least not the person you’re trying to win over.
They’re so confusing! They’re intimate with you, responsive, just like a real relationship - Except it isn’t! Only in your head. A day later they are avoiding you and you’re hurt and lost. What have you done? Maybe it’s something you can fix.
No. It’s not you. The only thing you’re doing wrong is sticking around and hurting yourself trying to get to the other side of that huge thorn bush because you’re so blinded by your love for him/her. Remember - He/She put that thorn bush there for a reason. So you can’t get through.
Person B…You’re not without blame either. Let’s face it. You like this attention. You don’t want to let it go. You want to keep Person A around for what ever reason. They care for you. They’re there when you need them. They’re such a fantastic human being…but for some reason, your heart is saying no. When your heart says no, even that faint resistance at the beginning of a relationship as this…Listen.
I know you don’t want to hurt Person A. They’ve been so nice to you. You drop hint after hint or flat out tell them you don’t want a relationship, but they keep coming back for more. You know why? Because you’re letting them! You’re not strong enough to give the final blow…You say something like “I’m not ready right now” or “Let me sort out myself, first.” The problem with these is they leave things open for the future. You don’t want to flat out tell them you’re not attracted to them that way or you simply don’t feel your heart going pitter-patter like theirs.
‘Cause that would be so mean! You know what’s really mean, though? Stringing someone along for months at a time when they could be giving all that effort to someone else. I know it hurts, but it’s the best thing for both of you.
You know how I know? I’m a self confessed Person B. This long and winding path has led us both into flames. I feel terrible for what I’ve done and I never wanted to hurt him, but I couldn’t bring myself to such finality. He couldn’t close the door on me knowing how much love he had in his heart for me. One of us has to be strong, though. Don’t let it get to this point.
You’ll be saving yourself a serious case of heartache, whichever person you are. Maybe things will blossom later on life, but at this stage, Person B is not ready. Live your lives and don’t look back. You never know what life holds in store.
Octerberlibra I once read this piece from somebody in another forum but it helped me so I had copied and saved it.
"I see a lot of questions put to this site about waiting. "How long must I wait - for money, for my friend, for love, for a new job, for a chils, for happiness etc.?"
Spirit wants me to tell you all not to wait any longer. Go forward - move out of the darkness you are hiding in and into the light. You might say that you are moving on with your life but while you are tied to this desire it is like an anchor, a buildup of stagnant unproductive stressful energy, that weighs you down and keeps you stuck to one side of the lifepath you are on. People and opportunities are passing you by as you stand off the path.
No one should wait for anyone else to catch up to them because we are all walking our own individual paths and going at our own pace, even when we are 'with' certain people in our lives. When two people are meant to be together, they will be - even if one moved off to the ends of the earth, the other would find them if it is destined to be that way. If someone or something is slowing you down, discard it. In reality, there is nothing that can hold you back but your stuck thinking. You really don't need any person or money or job or whatever in order to accomplish your dreams. All you need is the will to proceed. The only limitation is your mind.
It's an old saying but still true - "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was." Let go, let go, let go, and let God."
I too still love my friend but Im finding that I am less in love with him day by day. He had texted me and wanted to hang out after a months No contact. I had told him yes but then i was not ready to see him so i didnt call back to confirm. He texted and wanted to know if I had called him " I said no sorry it was too hot to hang out" the weather that is in New York. Im getting so strong after that one mothn contact u wouldnt believe. One time I would have been killing myself to go see him. I know he is not good for me, but deep down I feel like I cannot find any better. maybe but we have been dating over one year and was prepared to meet other ppl and date but nobody took to my liking.
KMUSE If I didn know better I would swear that u two are playing the role of me and my ex. your story is exactly like mine down. wow. In the end the son of a no good went back to his ex who had treated him so badly. your story is so similar down to the part where he didnt have any money and I had to ffot our dating bills. I really thought he loved me. You know one thing i realize with cancer men in the beginning they are the one who always want to profess their feelings first and seemd to want to hurry things along and then when you respond its as if they werent the one who started it first. I was in no hurry to fall in love with my guy head over heals. I was willing to take it slow caz that was what I was taught. men dont liked to be rushed. so like you about 4 weeks in our relationship he brought up the fact that I never told him that I loved him. I was so amazed at him caz many men wouldnt bother about that. that was when I started to fall for him thinking that was what he wanted, but he lead me on and string me on like a damn puppet on a string. and now althought I havent contacrted him in a month my poor heart is left in my hands. Im sorry for my poor heart it has taken a beaten. But forums like this has helped me thankk God, everybody else is fed up of my story. What broke the camels back was whne he finally found work I noticed he was not interested to come see me no more and talking about saving his money. OMG this son of a no good. Girl if I could find Voodoo for this guy, not to get him back or hurt hime, but to repay every cent i spent on and more. Im not usually like that I dont give and then want back but this guy is such an ass***** .
Hope you feel better becaz for me I felt like such a jackass and totally blamed myself. Are you friends with your guy?
To be honest some ppl want to leave but thye dont have the balls to say so, they dont want to look like the evil person so firsrt they play the friend card. Just so you wont feel bad. if you get fed up and walk away you are playing right into their hands caz thats what the wanted in the first place. Sometimes these ppl are what you call nice ppl and someyimes they are A**** holes. The thing is I cant put no blame on this guy because to be honest he made his intentions quite clear , its just you not accepting it. I know its hard I have been there , I gave this guy my all. and now I feel like a piece of Sh*t , Im more mad at myself for not seeing through him caz Im a smart person I should have seen it. You will have to give up on this guy sooner or later, but dont rush take your time. You will know when you have had enuff. I still have feelings for my guy but I HAVE HAD ENUFF> I desreve better and so do you. He is trying to avoid you dont know why becaz u two didnt have any quarrels. You think he is mad now becaz you seemed to be moving on????? hmm I wonder. some ppl still want to hang on to the fact that ur there waiting for them. perhaps he cant belive you didnt answer his text when u used to do.
Octoberlibra Nice baby keep it up its gonna be hard mind u, but ARE YOU READY, louder ARE YOU READY caz its gonna be a long hard road and only your friends here on Tarot gonna understand your pain anybody else gonna act like u have leprosy trust me I know. My first month of no contact and Itwas really really hard. but i made it tthrough yeah. today is one month. I read somewhere that if the person comes back with the plan of getting back together a firm plan and he wants to solve the problems u were having before . Then its ok to take him back otherwise just being friends gonna kill you emotionally. like i said he sounds like a good person but just wait and see. its a wait and see game now. lol for me. I moving forward no taking back for me. He was a user .