Well there's this girl i've known for several years and we've been really good friends, being there for eachother through most that happens in life as we go. We've always had feelings for eachother but couldn't act upon them as we live quite a way apart atm. Well, i met her in person for the first time a few weeks ago and things were different. As i guess you have to expect, but after knowing someone so long, how could she be so different? I found out alot about her that i only had inklings of before, she had wanted to see me for soo long and when i'm finally there she starts to get more and more distant =( I tried my best to get on with her friends, i got on with her family great and we got on well too. But she seemed like she had other things on her mind and she did alot of careless things that i couldn't understand and they made a difference to the way i could act around her at certain times. We only had a few times when we could talk alone but she never seems to want to talk about anything that shes really feeling, which makes it hard for me. A few times we'd be hanging out and i'd notice just how much her male friends would flirt and touch her and i guess i wouldn't participate because i respected her too much to do so, when the others would make faces and say things about her when she wasn't looking or listening. So when i'm staying out the way cos i wanna slap these people for treating her with so little respect, does she think that i'm distancing myself frome her? I don't think she even realises some of the situations we were in and how they affected me and therefore my mood at the time. Though it seems i have come to realise that she was not as caring a person as i thought and that i didn't deserve some of the ways she treated me at times, i still love her so much.. I told her some of these things and i've not gotten an answer about it yet, i hope she's not mad cos i had to let it out because it was destroying my time there, i worry its too late. I'm just unsure whether to keep fighting for something that may never be and getting more hurt or just moving on, my feelings are fighting eachother. My love and care for her to be happy is fighting my passion and want for her, i can see she wants to avoid dealing with it now but i can't leave all this built up in me. I don't want to make that jump and ruin our friendship completely.
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Libra got me all confused, help!