what an interesting dream!

i'm going to do my best to interpret this as if i was having this dream. take whatever seems to stand out to you.

well it seems that you're already pretty settled with the idea of running away. but running away can result in the death of some things. the pregnant woman who called you "mum" perhaps that is a "pregnant" budding thought of leaving your boyfriend? she is anxious and unsure, and asks a question. But you reassure yourself, saying “You won’t die, I won’t let you. When you wake up, I’ll be here for you.” you may need to give that thought life. but remember the birthing process is painful, yet beautiful. at that point in your dream you run away from this "death" that seems to be very eminent. and you even sort of enjoy it. it's much easier avoiding a painful decision such as that, right?

dream II: you are running from the death of "something." you know that you are not at "fault," yet you still need to get away from it. it's starting to sound more and more like your subconscious has already made up it is mind. you find transportation, a means to get away and notice students having fun-- smoking. “wow they really don’t have anything to worry about. All safe at home, not having to hide,” subconsciously you desire to for that lift-- and what exactly are you hiding again? hmmmmmm? are you just trying to get away and hide from what you're hiding with smoking??? or is it about time you come out of hiding and get away and have some fun? or both?

i've noticed when teachers are involved with my dreams that they are usually pointing you in a certain direction. to me, your drum teacher seems to be pointing you towards "life"/ your birthday after the "death" you seem to have experienced. your birthday is also something to look forward to. literally. look forward.

dream III: this one is a bit harder to discern, there are a lot of symbols in this one, but i'll git a swing.

here's what i'm understanding.

you're trying to get to room 24. 2+4=6. basically at this point in your life you're at a bit of a crossroads having to decide what to do with you relationship. you are at a middle point-- a 5 in numerology. the next number that obviously comes next in line is 6. but for some reason you walk into room 26, thinking it's 24. 2+6=8. 8 for me has been sort of like.... you've made your choice, there's no turning back, so things have begun to be set in motion. it's not a 9 because things haven't been killed or cut away, and it's not a 10 because nothing is dead yet, but shall we say, it's the beginning of the end. after making a decision, you may want to go back, but things are set in motion and why would you want to go in there when things are no longer worth cleaning out? perhaps you need to "clean up" your past mess before you move onto your next number/step? your subconscious apparently thinks you don't need to. it may take care of itself. but dirty rooms don't clean themselves. then again it isn't YOUR room. you accidently stumbled upon that one.

so you go to the correct room and it's big and beautiful and wonderful and clean, you have options, the doors are open for you, you're meeting new people at school, making new friends. there is already someone tidying your new space for you, and you do a bit to help get it settled. think in reality-- there is already someone waiting for you, a new friend, or lover perhaps, you just need to make the arrangements. and here we get to the hard part.

a tiger on top of taller animals in the jungle killing lions with large black pointy sticks. in an illustrated story. you felt it was grim, but possibly useful.

well, this seems to be going along the lines with the whole death and dying thing. it seems you've made it to college but you haven't quite killed off the beast yet. you can still go on with life as is with your boyfriend, attending college still in a relationship, but imagine the how much more free you may feel entering your next level of education with a clear mind.

killing a lion seems pretttty daunting. even if you have the upperhand by being on top of the other jungle animals. in the rider waite tarot deck, the card seven of wands came to my mind. it is a picture of a man with a staff-- almost like your pointy sticks, trying to fend off six staffs below him. he has the vantage point because he can see his attackers, what their moves are going to be, and he can make his attack with thought from above. your dream self seems to be okay that you received no reply from your mother or boyfriend. there is a part of you that has already approved of both their absence. you are moving away from your mother as well, right?

in their absence, you will make more friends, once you clear things out, life will bring you more to fill in the void, if you are ready. the girl could be the new you or friend that you will begin to get to know as you lead your new life...

a dog follows you and the new friend as you're walking back to your new home. dogs are usually very important "messengers of the underworld" in dreams. a lot of my dreams with dogs have been warning signs, not necessarily of impending doom or anything, but to keep a close eye on the rhythms and changes going on in life. this is your dog, your choice. it is following you. you are the owner. your subconcious has already seemingly determined your loss. you may loose your chance to make your decision. you may have to go to school to make your final decision. the owner(you) of this dog/choice might be upset at finding this dog/choice while at the student hall/your new home/ new stage in your life.

your subconscious self is still happy though, because it knows you will make the right decision for your future.

you are waking up to the longing for the freedom and release of running away, beginning your new life, without any restrictive ties. you obviously have that on your mind, and it seems to be calling you.

three is important.

past: dream I: you see your choice.

present: dream II: you acknowledge your choice.

future: dream III: you let go of your choice.

allow yourself to be freed.

much love, le papillon.

silly crabs.

life is always changing. so many posters seem to have been amazed that other people's lives are changing drastically as well.

but how could it be life without change? i like to think of cancers more like hermit crabs rather than just regular old crabs. hermit crabs, throughout their lives, have to find larger more fitting shells to accommodate their growth.

we're just changing shells, that's all. it's not something too particularly wonderous, because we all have to do this throughout life.

one thing i do find interesting though is that it feels to me that it is true there is a huge world consciousness shift occurring. more people are becoming aware of this. and it seems to be resulting in a larger amount of people becoming conscious that YOU and not anyone else, have complete and utter control of YOUR life. and your life seems to effect the lives of others.

although times may seem hopeless and the pain of love can be blinding, dulling, and awful, we each must continue to persist towards the goodness we all seek to have in our individual lives.

in one of the earlier post someone wrote to meditate.

MEDITATE MEDITATE MEDITATE. find yourself the time to clear your mind and become one with eternity!!!!!!! it will work wonders for you!!!!

this is why i posted in this specific topic! once i began to meditate steadily, and thoroughly, heeding precautions like: not eating before meditation, meditating when you wake and before you sleep AND MOST IMPORTANTLY "see and acknowledge your thoughts, then let them go"-- i have noticed an extreme sychronization of literally all aspects of my life.

if you can just do one good thing for yourself today, do this:

take five.

close your eyes, sit straight up, but comfortably (you can sit in a chair if you like, full lotus isn't entirely necessary when you first begin, but is more powerful as you progress) and breathe deeply.

an easy meditation is thinking "in" when you breathe in and "out" when you breathe out. if you have distracting thoughts, allow them to be thought of, but don't contemplate them, allow them to pass, and focus on the in and out.

another good visualization for this is what i call the color meditation. many chakra meditations are similar to this. this is good for those who are not used to visualization or being creative, and starts getting those juices going.

acknowledge the dark blackness when you close your eyes. then, starting with red, try to only see all red when you close your eyes. keep focusing until all you see is red. once you've covered your inner sight with red, hold it there for a moment, and then move onto orange and do the same. follow with the next colors in the rainbow going in order. red orange yellow green blue purple.

if you can focus for long enough try to focus on white(the presence of all colors) and imagine your whole entire body being filled with the white.

spread the love.

love, le papillon.

hmmm this is very interesting.

my father is a gemini, and for the most part he seems to fit most of the gemini characteristics, but i've noticed that he is extremely withdrawn, or at least has been for most of his life. (he's stayed in his shell for quite a long time, seemingly cancerian.) i've also recently noticed that he's also very sensitive to nature, and animals, he seems to attract them when he's out in the wild. they seem to just accept him as a part of nature, and not as something separate. it seems like that would be more of a cancer trait than that of a gemini.

i am a cancer, but i feel very very very in touch with my cancer sun and moon, being extremely intuitive, spiritual and sensitive. but i can say that i do feel that libra rising is a decent description of what i can be like. i read somewhere that the rising sign is what others perceive you as-- more like a first impression, or maybe a not-so-close friend might see you as. and your rising sign can also affect your appearance, which i think is extremely interesting .

i'm sure that from the outside i seem very sure of what i'm doing, that i've got all the plans laid out and that life is very well balanced for me, all the t's are crossed and i's are dotted-- sort of person. in reality, deep inside i have just given up to the force that seems to propel the good that comes of my life. i don't seem to be very good at organizing, and i'm more of an all or nothing sort of person, but you do have to find the balance in life between all those all's and nothing's.

physically, i would say i have the physique of a libra-- libra being ruled by venus the female planet, and also being bent on equal perfection-- i am definitely a woman. not big breasted or large hips or anything like that (which is also funny because cancer women are supposed to have svelte breasts or something) but very perfectly proportioned. i read that libra risings are supposed to have particularly lovely faces. which i'm sure people would consider my face to be lovely. but this brings me onto the next topic.

i have a mole or beauty mark or whatever you want to call it, on my cheek just a bit above and to the left of my mouth. well actually it's two moles. one bigger mole and one smaller mole to the right of the larger mole. once when i was getting a haircut when i was little, the lady told me,

"oh how adorable, your big mole has a sattelite!"

and what exactly is the moon??? a very large sattelite to the earth.

so i am i cancer or libra? definitely cancer, i think, but with definite libra influence.

well, i can tell you it can be difficult at times. if a scorpio is unsure, they can be very hot and cold. it took a year of my scorpio and i trying to contact each other for things finally fall into place. if he seems unsure, he may just back out, completely. and check in every once in a while. but the unfortunate thing about scorpios is that they have stingers, and their poison/essence tends to linger with you for a long time after they're gone. sometimes it can make you go a bit crazy. but if you show him you can be trusted, that you're loyal and faithful, and intellectually, spiritually and quite possibly physically (sex) you're a good match, scorpio won't be so afraid. don't push too hard, but don't be boring either.

my mom is a november scorpio as well, and i've noticed they can be a lot more stubborn-- my way or the highway sort of people.

just be the beautiful loving cancer that you are, and he should see you exactly for that.

oh, and you should almost always trust your intuition with scorpios.

ok. so change isn't so bad.

a few months ago, i posted a couple of whiny, poor old me, love sucks kind of things around here. but i've come around.

over this last year, i (july 12) had feelings for a scorpio (october 23) on and off. we were hot and cold and hot and cold, and things never seemed to want to come together for us. over this entire year, i have had and recorded almost all of the dreams that i can remember having of/with this scorpio. the most vivid of these was sometime in january or february...

he came to me in my dream, and the only thing i can remember, of course extremely vividly, was him looking into my soul and saying, "i am a part of your future." it came to me at an extremely exasperating time in my life, when things we're going sort of ok with my old leo (august 7) boyfriend that i've been trying to work things out with-- FOR YEARS. mentally, i began to dissolve and become really disillusioned by all the negativity that was seeming to take over my life, and felt stuck in just settling. i remembered the dream and set it aside as a crazy fantasy.

on the fateful day of may 14th, i had a sudden realization. actually, it was more like panic set in and i woke up from another bad dream. i realized i was at a fork in the road in my life with my leo, and that there was absolutely no way i could continue my future with him anymore. it was insanely strange. i hadn't been thinking about breaking up with him, but apparently my subconscious had. i told him there was no way this could continue to work out, and he completely agreed. i only talked to him once a few days after that, and haven't spoken a word to him since.

the events that took place after this were marvelously breathtaking. i have never in my life experienced a falling into place of circumstances as profound as this. the little things include me being able to attend the school i've wanted to go to, finding an excellent roomate in an extremely convenient location and at a great price, finding the perfect job- just walking distance from my new home, finding tons of opportunities to play music and be creative, the list goes on and on.

the best part of all of this life in sync, is that my dreams came to life. my literal, falling asleep and waking up dreams. i experienced some bone chilling synchronicities the day that i found love again. almost exactly a year before, i had written a very heartfelt love song of longing for this scorpio: the chorus goes like this- i'm hoping that you'll pass me by in the crowd, cause i'll be sitting here by the singing trees, on a grassy hill where you'd imagine i'd be. and i'm hoping that you'll pass me by in the crowd, cause i'll be waiting for you in the park be the sea.

under those same singing trees i had written about in song, time took a long, heavy, sigh, and let us establish the roots of our ridiculously intuitive relationship. and if you've ever felt time stop-- you know that love frozen in time is miraculous.

i guess what i'm really trying to purvey here is that if you find the love in yourself, and you will it and let it go, it will eventually come back to you.

just let it happen.

why does changing your life around have to be sooo uncomfortable? haha. i want the change, but i really don't want all of the confusion and pain that comes with it.

i'm a july 12er.

alright. i don't know about the rest of you cancerians, but i have been really fed up with people's crap lately.

and i'm really tired of it. it's definitely wearing me out. and of course, that makes my moods a little unsettled. i know you can't make everyone happy, but i think it is important to try to harvest positivity...

has anyone else been noticing seriously intense mood swings (i mean way more intense than usual), vivid dreams, and the feeling that you just want to disappear and start off life in a different world?

i don't know if that mentality is going around or if it's just me. i'm not so sure i'm enjoying it.

karenh61.

i have the same birthdate as you.... and i also understand the weight of depression, having to take care of family members that are not well and moving back to my childhood home and seeing it as something that is nothing like it was.

love comes to those who love themselves. negativity is a harmful pattern/habit. i know how easy it is to dwell on it.

find the things you still love about you. focus on them. meditate on them.

i know this sounds silly, but wear a rubber band around your wrist and snap yourself everytime you think something negative about yourself, or negative in general.

are you eating as healthy as you should? i'm sure you know that the stomach is a weak spot for cancers... we sometimes tend to be emotional eaters. just because the ice cream seems like a good way to muffle the pain doesn't mean you should eat the whole halfgallon... a scoop or two is nice though.

are you being creative? i know sometimes it is extremely difficult to be creative when you are a normally creative person and you are depressed... i play piano and when i am upset, most of the time, the last thing i want to do is write music. lately i've found that when i get into a dark mood that my creativity is best spent walking on the beach by my house and looking for shells just like i did when i was a child. it gives you time to think about how much has changed, yet how much is still the same. just because the people who once were there have gone does not mean the memories are lost. build new memories to back those up.

lastly, clean. clean your space, clean your mind, clean your records. throw away the things that serve absolutely no purpose in your life. the old love letters that make you cry when you read them, the keepsakes... donate the old clothes that you don't wear, or that don't fit that you hope will, or that you only own because it fits but doesn't necessarily look good on you.

the only way for you to receive what is coming to you is if you prepare the space for it. this is true for the material and immaterial world.

love yourself, accept yourself, and especially accept your feelings. you are beautiful.

msseventwelve, i know you replied a while ago but hopefully you'll see this sometime.

freakin wierd. my birthday is also july 12 and i was also involved with a scorpio man born on october 23.

same scenario.

ditch him. he's just a tease.

it was seriously intense for us, but i don't ever see anything truly happening between us. i still have these outrageously vivid dreams where he's with me, and after having dreams with him that actually came into being, and it's very tempting. you could keep persisting but, if anything it will scare him away, and he'll disappear for a while and randomly call you up when he wants you.

i know how awful/beautiful it is to feel such an affinity with someone that you don't want them to ever leave..... but do you really want to be "that" girl? i don't know about you but i desire a steady relationship over fleeting one night romances.

all the space in between hurts.

so there was this scorpio... and of course he was mysterious, and intelligent and talented and sexy... he blew me away, and i wish i would've stuck around. i just did the usual cancer thing and scuttled off because i was afraid that i liked it.... i was afraid it was too good to be true.

we're still aware of each other even though i haven't talked to him in a long time. we haven't actually seen each other since last august... and before that it was five months since we were together. i'll have dreams with him for weeks, and then out of the blue he'll send me a message or call. the dreams are always vivid, like he's trying to get a hold of me, then i can't get him off my mind until i do something about it. before new year, i had this dream where he had put up new music on his myspace and the next more i went online, not thinking a thing about that and saw that he had put up a new new tune (with only one listen) and almost crapped my pants. we talked... he wanted to see me, then he disappeared. and i moved on. and of course, a month later, there he was again telling me about a dream he had of me and how sexy it was and how he wanted to see me again still.

i almost punched myself in the face.

i mean... i guess i had done it to him too. maybe it's just not our time. i just don't understand why being with someone for two weeks would linger so strongly after now, over a year of having not been with him, i still have this ache in my heart.

i'd hate to just be a call girl. especially when i felt we had something special.