I've a story to tell about a pisces and a leo (that would be me) and any thoughts about this, to clear my mind, would be helpful and received with gratitude, it's a long story, I'll try to focus on the essential.
Once upon a time, last fall, I met a pisces through work. We had a connection instantly, but this was never spoken out loud. We lived in different countries, so after our brief encounter in my hometown where he was visiting, we became friends online. We were both going through breakups and found each others company cheerful and fun and just got along very well. I noticed I was developing feelings for him, but didn't want to say anything, until the right moment.
After four months of talking online, turned out I would be visiting his country, through work/fun, we would be attending the same event. We were both looking forward to meeting each other and hang out. And we did. Within an half an hour of meeting face to face for the first time since last fall, we both just gave in and admitted we were badly smitten, he first. It was incredibly easy and natural, we were floating. In a tipsy moment he spoke of years of happiness that he sees with me, love even.
After a weekend of fun, he asked me to spend the rest of my stay with him at his place. It was great to get out of the fun environment of the weekend into the normal world, we spent two days just strolling along, lying around, staring into each others eyes and holding hands, watching films, cuddling. It was easier and more perfect than anything I've ever experienced.We never had sex, we agreed that there would be a time for that, later. He spoke of coming to see me soon, that he wanted to earlier already, but didn't dare.
Then I came home. Two days after that he sent me an email explaining that he still has nightmares about his ex, that he is not over her and that after I've been gone he has fallen back to feeling the pain he had before. That if he hasn't ruined everything he want's to be friends and he doesn't want this to be the end. So I told him that I don't know what to do with all these sweet feelings I have for him now, to hold them or let them go. To which he replied "it might be better if you can let them go, i don't know" I feel comfortable being very honest with him, so I told him that I don't want to lose him existing as a person, that it's all too valuable to go to waste and we agreed that being in each others lives in some way is important, as friends, as before.
I don't think he was playing me when we were together, just that life is very confusing for him. But still, he said he has feelings for me, but his feelings for his ex are stronger, at least for now. That he thought it could change, but after I left it was the same as before. When we were together I once asked him if all this wonderfulness was really for real to which he said "oh god, you are the love of my life" And I believed him. I almost still do.
Now I've fallen, so badly and am at a loss, what to do? I'm stubborn, I really think this is something that might happen only once in a lifetime. My heart wont let me forget him, I want to help him move forward. Is this possible? Im so confused, so very very confused. What I would normally do if someone treated me this way, is to just say goodbye and try to heal myself. With him, I feel I can't. That I need to see this through, if there was a chance.But I have to consider the possibility that he just doesn't want me. I should believe and trust his judgement. But my heart doesn't. My heart just wants back that what we shared together.
I think he is keeping his distance now, to let me be, he is very sorry for everything. I miss talking with him so much.
Thank you for reading.