Don't be sorry for me. God knows I've spent more than enough time feeling sorry for myself. Now, I just laugh about it; can't really do anything else except cry, and I've done enough of that too! Things will get better, just keep focusing on what makes you happy. And, most importantly, take each day one day at a time. I don't make any plans for the future, I'm sure you see why. I just live for today and let God take care of tomorrow. I try to live by the Golden Rule of treating others the way I want to be treated, and that's it. That's the secret to getting past yesterday and through today. Chin up, your life is just starting!
Best posts made by latransfer
Latest posts made by latransfer
RE: What happend to my life?
RE: What happend to my life?
I completely understand where you're coming from. I often ask myself the same thing, and then I actually answer myself! Sometimes there's no rhyme or reason why things turn out the way they do; they just do. You've got to quit looking back on what was and start looking forward to the future, or you're just doomed to keep doing the same things over and over. You have two kids thanks to these relationships, and even though you're back at home with your mother, take this time to regroup and figure out what you want in life without a man. You're probably wondering how I can say all of this. I am 38 years old, been married three times. That sounds really bad, but just listen. My first husband, the father of my three children, and I were married off and on for nine years. Married him after I graduated high school. I couldn't wait to be be grown and out of my parents house. Boy was I naive! Soon after we married the abuse began. Like the adolescent I was I stuck with it because I was ashamed of myself for putting up with it. So, I lied to everyone, especially myself. After my third child was born I went back to work. I had nothing more than a high school education, but I had the drive to support my three children. You see, not only was he physically abusive, he also abused drugs and wouldn't hold a job. Soon I was working two jobs. At that point I filed for divorce and put him out. I remarried my high school sweetheart a year and a half later. We were married for almost two years when he died in a car accident. I was a widow at 29. I had my first nervous breakdown also at 29. God was looking out for me and put my next husband in my path. We were married for five years when he died in his sleep. Yeah, widowed again, this time at 35. To top it off everyone talked about me being a black widow because I had two husbands die. Mind you I wasn't even in the car when my second husband died. Nor did I have anything to do with the third. But, people can be cruel. I tried to commit suicide three times; been in therapy three years. And you know what I've learned? People are going to talk regardless who you are. You have to know yourself well and in doing that comes a sense of worthiness that no relationship with anyone can give you. I'm not saying I'm happy with my life, but I am saying that I can be content alone because I can't control no one else's actions but my own. I choose to live my life each day for myself, not to make anyone else happy. I have my children, and now they have children, and I have their unconditional love and respect as they have mine. I have also began trying to forge a new relationship with God. I still date, but I'm very picky with the men I let in my heart. I also never rely financially on a man or on anyone else. Life is too short to live in the past! Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and figure out what makes you happy. And don't find your happiness in the eyes of someone else. Find out the person that you were born to be!