I am so very grateful for the love of my wonderful children and for having them in my life. For friends and new directions. I am thankful that I am becoming more and more opening minded and allowing my heart to be as well. And I am grateful for the ability to forgive.
Best posts made by Laine66
Latest posts made by Laine66
RE: The Good Karma Community Challenge
RE: I'm Completely Distraught
Hurt77, I wish that I had some words of wisdom, but being new here, I am still learning. It does sound as if you have had some great advice already. I would say this, if your gut is telling you to reach out, then perhaps try posting on Craigslist Missed Connections in the town he went to, putting his name and picture there. I have had some experience finding 'deadbeat' dads for friends, if you would like some help, I'd be glad to do what I can. My only thought is that with people trying to get dresses and you spending money on the wedding and such, that you need to have some sort of clarity rather quickly.
Good luck and blessings!
RE: Aries with a Leo...
Thankyou for your input. I have been in such turmoil with the stillbirth of our daughter. He and I do go about grieving in different ways. I choose to willingly outwardly remember her. I want people to know that I 'want' to talk about her. To him, it should be kept private and he shouldn't have any pictures of her on his keychain or his desk because as he said, what do I say if someone asks 'oh, she's dead'. Her delivery pictures look the same as my other three children. You cannot tell that she was stillborn. Thankfully, I know now that is because she did not struggle. I have been moving forward with my healing, I am focused on my health, my future and mainly, my other children. I know that I will again, see my daughter another day. It is difficult however to step back from the man you love. At my age, I had given up on the one true love coming into my life. When he came into my life it was as a friend and we progressed rapidly but very naturally. Meditation and prayer seems to bring me a great deal of calm, so that is the course of each evening around 8pm. My children even noticed that I seem calmer and at peace when I am done. I have chosen to step back and give him what he needs and at the same time, to be willing to wait for him. My heart knows that at some point in our future, we will be brought back together, just as we both feel we have been in past lives together, I know that there is future lives together... prayfully even now.
Again thank you for your insight. I am new here and am finding it very helpful in the direction that my new path of discovery is taking me.
Aries with a Leo...
I have been with my Leo bf for nearly 2 years. In that time we ended up pregnant and lost our baby girl at birth due to a cord accident. This was 4 mths ago. Things changed drastically. We had often struggled in the relationship b/c neither of us felt ready to be in one, we came together as friends. But we were always pulled back together by forces neither of us could understand, we were never able to fully walk away (even before the pregnancy). We have confided things in one another that no one else on this earth knows. Recently we acknowledged that it felt as if we had been together in another life. He is very much influenced by the 'people' around him (his father, brother, exwife and such). Right now he is asking for his space, which I am having a difficult time giving him with a happy and peaceful heart. I am not clear if I am having a difficult time doing this because I am still mourning our baby (which I am) or because I am fighting the natural progression. I have NO doubt in this world that this is the man that was created for me and me for him. Of that, I am completely positive. We have always been so natural together, nothing was ever forced. Even now, if we find ourselves together he will loosen up and let the wall down, he still confides in me. I also think that perhaps he realizes now that he has confided so much in me & that with our baby gone, that it would be easier for me to no longer remain loyal and to share the information he has given to me. I would never do that & deep inside he knows that. I have, in a hormonal rage threatened, but realized the other week that I had done that and sincerely asked for forgiveness. I know that I would never releave what he has shared with me. He has not mourned our daughter the way I wish that he had. His family does not seem to be emotionally open, that is really the main opposite that we have. But with me, he has almost always been emotionally open. It just seems that since our daughter's stillbirth that he has closed down all emotions.
I meditate and pray every night for him to come back to me, as I feel strongly that is what the universe has in place for us. As I said, he is whom I am supposed to spend my life with. I also believe that as simple human beings, we can take control of a situation and make a mess of it. Right now with the thought of his confussed and fearly position, what do you think that I should do? I would really appreciate any advice. The holidays are difficult enough without our daughter, where it's one of the main things that I think about, he said that he can't allow himself to think about that. We are both in our early 40's, so it's not as if we are inexperienced at life in general, but he has had no experience in his life with death, especially of someone close.