If you can't just let it go, even though I assume you realize intellectually ,that he could not love you with the depth that you feel for him without needing closure. If you have done this kind of thing before, then respect him for not wanting to be with the kind of person that you seemingly are.
Anyway, sit down and write him a letter. Snail mail, not email or text and say exactly what you need to say. If you are sorry for your actions then you need to say so. Don't be pitiful, just honest. Remind him that we have all made fools of ourselves in our lifetimes, and if he is this unforgiving then he apparently has some issues he needs to address, and perhaps will lose something of great value in his quest for the perfect woman.
I just re-read what you wrote, and to tell you the truth if he thought you were out of your mind he should have opened the door for you,(if nothing else for fear you could be hurt somehow) He sounds like he had someone else there and did not want to have to discuss it with you. So he just made you out to be the crazy drunk and is "off the hook". Men like this don't like women who show up without notice, it kinda cramps their style if you know what I mean. I think he may not be the man you thought he was.