Thank you. We have been married for 16 years and the first 13 he was never home and drank a lot. Was never there for me and was emotionally abusive so i've been told recently. Three years ago I had an affair and was moving out and on with my life. But he promised to be different. So I gave him the benefit of the doubt and we have been working at this for the last three years. I am not allowed to do anything by myself including going for groceries. He is very controlling with my time. Even when I said I don't want to do something he lays on the "fine you just don't want to be with me" thing and I give in. Im just tired of trying. And to top it off, my Christian background is in my head that the marriage had to work. God doesn't like divorce. But at what cost??? We do have 3 kids and my oldest just said to me," Mom , I don't think you should be around dad very much. He is really mean to you and it upsets me" . He is a nice guy to everyone else, but behind closed doors he can be really mean. I just dont know what to do? Can you give me any more insight based on that information?