thx sexdctr6, I take no offence. You must know, I have never said "I DO". We are not married. He never wanted to marry me. And like an idiot I played along. My biggest issue with my situation is that I always just played along with what he wanted. I have had a fear of honesty for many many years. I guess I was afraid of hurting people or putting myself out by telling the truth. I moved in with him when I had no where else to go and he took me in. I have never been in love with him or very attracted to him. I needed him because I had nothing and no where. I shouldn't have but we all do what we have to, right? I am not jumping from the frying pan to the fire. I am only remaining friends with S and am planning on just getting a place of my own where I can live my life without the confusion of a relationship. Maybe one day S and I will get closer but for now we are just friends. As for my current guy, he is quite upset with me (he has every right, I understand that). He's already started looking for a new girlfriend... Staying here until I can get my own place is a bit uncomfortable but at least he now knows the truth about how I feel. No games being played here, the truth is all I can tell any more.... even if it does screw me in the end. I feel good about being honest for the 1st time in my life. If that's selfish, then so be it.
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RE: 2 soul mates 1 love, who do I choose?
RE: 2 soul mates 1 love, who do I choose?
Thank you all for your replies. It has helped me think of this in a new direction. I finally worked up enough courage to tell my current guy that I have fallen in love with S. I can't help the way I feel about S it does just keep growing stronger even though we are apart and haven't even talked for a week now. I do believe this is true love and feel I need to pursue it further. My current guy is a bit upset but is completely understanding to my feelings. (Wishes he could feel that "falling in love" feeling again.) I am truly grateful to have found and fallen for 2 of the most amazing men on the face of Mother Earth. I will not do anything to betray trust. Not now, not after finally learning that I do not need to fear the truth. I am truly blessed.
2 soul mates 1 love, who do I choose?
I've need advice. I have been in a good relationship for almost 9 years now. We have 2 children together, and we get along well. We have an amazing partnership with work, home and the kids and I love him and care for him a lot. However, I've never been in love with him, I've never got "butterflies" just looking at him or felt passion with him except for in the bedroom. The more time goes by, the less attracted to him I become and the more I notice he seems to be feeling the same way. SO, because of the kids, I have settled, and decided it would be best to just stick it out. Happy or not.
In July, I received a phone call from an old friend, I'll call him "S". It had been 17 years since we talked so it was good to hear from him. I should also mention this guy was who I gave my virginity to. We decided to get together and visit. The second he pulled into my driveway, before he even turned off the car, we were in each others arms. It was the most incredible hug I've felt in all my life, so to say the least "sparks flew!" even my next door neighbor commented on the sparks they were so bright. NO KIDDING!
Because of my current relationship, "S" and I kept ourselves under control and talked for hours about life and where we've been. The entire time, shaking with hearts pounding and barely being able to control ourselves. Too amazing to describe any other way...
We visited each other a few more times and I did tell my current partner about these visits. I also told him I cared for "S" a lot and wanted to continue being friends with him. I'm sure it hurt him but I had to be honest about my feelings.
I haven't spent a lot of time with or talked to "S" recently because he is working full time again and there is no time. However, my love for him continues to grow stronger and the feelings for my current partner are still fading... So I guess what I need to know is, do I stay in this relationship with my kids' daddy for the sake of them or do I pursue what I believe is TRUE LOVE? Any advice is much appreciated... I am quite confused...