AstraAngel, Thank you for that profound interpretation! Everything you stated makes perfect sense. The past two years have been turbulent and unsettling, but I came through this mourning period far stronger and better equipped to handle life's challenges. The kind of love I've sought still seems evasive, but I think my definition of "love" has undergone some revisions. Love is more than what happens between lovers when you learn to love yourself first. Cheers, cateyes36