conjunction: within 6 degrees of each other , varies
semi-sextile: 30 degree (+/-2)
sextile: 60 degrees (+/-6) favorable
square: 90 degree (+/-6) difficult, potent
trine: 120 (+/-6) harmonious - talent, opportunity
quincunx: 150 (+/-3) - minor, difficult, health, stress
opposition - +/-6, powerful, difficulty, tension
when sun, moon, ascendent is involved, 8 degree orb
I really relate as I am a Cancer (July 20) with Capricorn rising, so I kind of have a relationship such as the one you describe going on in my own head! I find they are very different energies which can be so beautiful when harmonized right - so it makes sense that dynamics are both challenging and at the same time worth working on and not giving up on, since the resolution can be so sweet.
Also, I am currently in a relationship with someone who cannot completely provide for me, and let me tell you, it is a big challenge for a Cancer. I feel most emotionally secure when I am financially secure, so I am constantly sacrificing my psychological well-being for my emotions, which also run high. I am sure it was a near-impossible decision for her to get up and go, and I think it is really sweet that you both understand why it could have been a relief for you, and also that you recognize the reasons why she did and that a lot has changed for the better. The way it sounds to me, you have not forgotten her and a lot of key stuff is different. It sounds like you are not someone who has issues providing for a woman, but that it was just a matter of life circumstances. It sounds like things are much more in place now and there's a good chance she'll see that -- I think if you can communicate to her that you understand the difficulties that existed and that you genuinely believe things are different, that will touch her and help her believe that all of the good parts of your relationship can now live on with the right foundation.
Based on your birthdays you two have some major strengths. Your synastry chart has sun in trine with Saturn, which can make for a working, durable relationship. If she opts in she can also help you with discipline and judgment, although you may have a good deal of your own as well.You also have Mercury in trine with Saturn, which means that you can be helpful in putting her problems into words, and she can help you with various aspects of life that call for being well organized mentally. Your Mercury-Uranus lineup can make for some mutual appreciation or collaboration when it comes to the way your mind works, emotional processing, or communication. Your Venus-Moon lineup is fabulous for love, a sign that you really enjoy each others' company and can be a fun couple to be around.
It also makes sense that there was a lot of drama, because you two have moon in trine with Mars, meaning emotions run high and the relationship has to be very active. Interestingly enough it also means that she will put major pressure on you to be a provider and activate your full potential. On a practical level, because of your Moon-Neptune opposition, she can become frustrated with you and a difficulty "getting things going".
Was she very sensitive and hurt easily in your relationship? Probably, because she is a Cancer. But also, you two have sun in square with moon - two major bodies in a hard aspect. This doesn't mean a no-go, but it does mean some barriers that require work. She can take offense easily, and you may spend a lot of time in a sort of Cold War dynamic. While Mercury trined with Saturn producing a positive aspect, Mercury also squares with moon, which can produce communication problems. Additionally because Venus is squared with Mars, she may end up feeling unappreciated.
Also, some advice: Her Venus is trined with Uranus, such that she values independence in her partners, and will take interest when she senses a unique quality in them.
What's more, her sun and moon are squared, such that she's deeply torn between her desire to stand on her own two feet, and her Cancer need to be cared and nurtured. She may even feel ashamed at her need for love and affection as a result of her independent streak. This could be related to some stuff from her upbringing. But be careful bringing it up: She can be uber-sensitive on matters relating to emotional security, and has a real fear of facing her own baggage. If she's like me, there's a fear of dealing with problems head-on, but a real liking for reading about her problems from a distance, as if they could be about someone else. Dealing with problems and issues directly can bring up some tender vulnerability. On this note her getting up and going is somewhat unlike her, and was probably pretty difficult.
Be open to (gently) breaking some of her traditional notions of home and family - she secretly likes your independent side and deep inside needs to be free of authority and convention.