I'm definitely a cancer. July 19, 1957. It's 5 am, checked my scope, and found this forum. I can't even tell you how much reading the posts has helped me this morning. I've always been oversensitive, shy, afraid to speak my mind etc. etc. and pretty muched chalked it up to being psycho. Was married to a controlling abusive Gemini/Cancer cusp man for 19 years.. used to be able to stand up for myself, but after letting him beat me down mentally for so long, lost my self worth so to speak. My daughters told me that I needed to get away (that was 8 years ago). I guess that was all I needed at the time.. problem being is that he wouldn't leave (he did nothing wrong, I made everything up, and I'm psycho.. according to him). So, my kids (who were late teens) helped me plan my escape, I got an apartment and split (run-away syndrome). YES, that helped me alot, but now I also have the "guilt" because I couldn't afford to take them and since I moved 15 miles away, I didn't want to take them out of their schools, or away from their friends. What an idiot I was. Still have the old guilt for that, but they are all fine and doing great on their own.
Got remarried in 2007 after a 3 year relationship to a Gemini (again.. I don't learn), whom I met at work and we went to all 4 years of high school together, and grew up 2 blocks apart. We bought a house less than a year ago.. we never fought or argued.. we were best friends and I WAS the happiest I've ever been.
Being the "rescuer", 2 months ago I agreed to have his 2 daughters (19 and 24) come live with us (mom took them away to Utah 3 years ago). The plan was they stay here, get jobs, saveand get their own place. I adore the 19 year old. BUT, the 24 is the most self centered whiny lazy person I have ever met. And her dad jumps everytime she wants something (she "claims" that she can't turn on an oven or doesn't know how to do laundry..so he does it). Within the past 2 months our whole relationship has changed. Tells me to talk to him if I have a problem, when I try which is a Cancer feat in itself.. he jumps on the defensive, storms out of the room and then repeats anything that I may have gotten out to her. So I am feeling like a stranger in my own house. THEN I do the cancer retreat.. for my own sanity, and I am accused of all sorts of things. I woke up crying again this morning..surveying the house as to what I could grab and take with me when I find a place to run to... and thinking that I must need therapy as I am frustrating myself as to why I have the fear of SPEAKING MY MIND. Then I read the previous posts. I'm not crazy. Just the emotional cancer curse.. right? So now what should I do? Today is my day off, my plan is to sit in my art room, tune everything out, paint and heal. That will work fine, until she wakes up plops her backside in the middle of my couch, with her lap top on MySpace, TV on, a bowl of icecream on one side of the couch, and a bag of flaming hot cheetos on the other.. and there she will SIT until it's time for her dad to get home from work, and she will stand in the driveway waiting for him to get home so she can intercept him from talking to me, and then it starts again. Guess I needed to vent.. that was long, and it's only 6:00am. Wish me luck..