I think one of your statements was wrong. I don't believe that if a couple are lovers they can't be emotionally close. Some are. Some even think they are best friends. Have you thought about asking your pals about their relationships? You said that happened with your husband, but I think it was possibly just because you were incompatible. But if he stopped being close to you in other ways after moving to the bedroom, why on earth did you marry him?
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RE: Devastating changes all at one time...