Hi. Heyyouwassup, you are dong all the right things as UH suggested – so well done !!!
You now need to take a few more steps forward, not great big leaps or you will miss a bit of the healing process (leave open wounds to fester – which we all have to go back to heal eventually)
Firstly, by putting your own energy around you as protection – yes you have shifted the energy about your xbf…. That was the first stage to give you some “rest bite”. The dreams are your unconsciousness coming through as you know you have more work to do to find your inner peace/space.
You comment on “reason and let my mind lead the way” – you now need to take the next step and clear you mind. In clearing the mind, you are not subjectively controlling the thought (you have now got past that bit with this) – empty your mind this will let your psychic insight, logic, practicalities ??? come through (depending on what works best for you). You xbf may also be thinking about you and you are picking up his energy – he will have unresolved issues as well on why he walked away from, Its easy to shift blame to others when we don’t want to own up to our own mistakes – that is very weak thing to do – but a human thing to do …...
Its not easy to control a dream, some can do it, many cant – but to send healing (energy thoughts) before you go to sleep, to yourself firstly, then your situation, then add in the xbf and dream – you should start to distil the negative part of the energy that still vibrating around. The dreams wont just stop – they will change – as you change. You need to change the energy on how you see/feel him.
Not easy when we hold pain inside ourselves. Its not about forgiveness – that will come later when you are ready, so don’t go thinking we need to love and forgive everyone that does us harm…. We can’t do that straight away… we have to work through the issues first… that’s what the lesson/learning is all about. We can forgive someone that hurts us, but we must also remember, that does not give them the right to keep on hurting us – they have to take back their responsibility of the actions as well.
As they say … one step at a time….