not having the three days or so to read the entire thread, i'll put it out thus; do you have any responses from an actual virgo male submitted, or shall an entire sign be tried in absentia? i understand your frustration/anger/(rage?), but you won't get any insight by assuming attack mode or discounting this unfaithful person in your life and tarring all virgos with the same brush. forgetting all else, the 'typical' virgo response to aggressive questioning/attack/'disharmonious discourse'(o.k., i went pc above and beyond here, mea culpa.) is defensiveness/shutting down/distancing/non-response/'the wall of ultimate indifference'. remember, virgos' ocd-like behavior is their general method of dealing w/stress, especially in their immediate environments. the habituality/ritual/hypochondria/worrying/pessimism is a learned response from very young, from being judged 'too smart for their own good' and 'corrected'(bullied on all levels, from all directions(think about it( virgos always take it personally and remember every hurt they have ever sustained, on a cellular level - it takes a whole crapload of personal reorientation to approach something approaching objectivity - trust me on this))) to little virgos' torment/horror/anguish (the hardest lesson for virgos is understanding that people are not deliberately obtuse, just oblivious at times and unaware of how much hurt they are throwing out. virgo emotions are like glaciers, slow, powerful, overwhelming, relentless, unstoppable. think about this; virgos get annoyed very easily, enraged very rarely, elation is nearly unheard of but extremely fragile and thus the most precious of all.
o.k., rambling diatribe over(i think).
pure, open, unguarded joy is perceived as so impossible to obtain and plan for, that perhaps a person with a certain version of perception/mentality/emotionality, they may deduce that the 'all your eggs in one basket' theory limits their opportunities for bliss, and thence 'improve their odds' by 'using a larger sample of the available population'. since this argument makes statistical sense, it appeals to a methodical, you might even say 'regimented(please, not to virgos' face, remember extremely fragile egos that never forget. be nice.)' thought pattern that really has a lot of difficulty feeling embraced at the best of times.
o.k., rational sympathy acknowledged.
short answer - i can't answer for this person, only therapy in whatever form it manifests can do that. if you're looking for an astrological answer, well, virgos are unfortunately deemed the most neurotic and therefore prickly/obnoxious/overbearing/frustrating of all. on the one hand,
live with it. on the other hand, neurotic is eccentric, weird, and antisocial, but harmless - it's not the end of the world, it's not evil. if cheating is involved, you don't have to accept it, don't think another wrong can make it right. only he can choose and decide to reprogram himself and deal with his issues. no option, threat, or ultimatum will change him, he has to do it himself.
when i say live with it, i mean live with the reality of it. living with him is your choice and you can reprioritize and rechoose whenever.
if you want him to hear you, try this; completely calmly, say you won't be with him like this, that you choose not to be an accessory in his life, if he doesn't see your hurts equivalent to his own, then the both of you only have half of a relationship, which is the real way you're both cheating yourselves.
truth; calm will earn his respect. if you want a virgo to treat you like an adult, be one, and accept that drama is always the worst approach. it will bring out the worst in both of you, and he will expect or even demand an apology for your childishness without admitting his own. this is his perception. my suggestion, as i said, is to not prove, in his mind, his correctness and maturity, and thus your irrationality and immaturity by association. choose neither to push his buttons, nor react when he pushes yours. if he wants a partner, demonstrate your qualifications, if he doesn't, you'll finally know, and you will be able to make any further choices more clearly. if the answer to the question 'is this the life you want?' is anything but an unqualified yes, then you can choose better, and knowing you can choose better will usually help you figure out some of your better choices right there.
if you haven't already figured it out by the longwindedness of this post, yeah, i'm a virgo, and no, i don't think i could have found a less tortous way of putting it. don't ask, unless you really want the explanation(virgos' all-time, a-number-one, top-of-the-list, sure-fire, 100% guaranteed, most pernicious tried-and-true torture technique of them all - the explanation. but then again, that's what i've been doing pretty much this entire post, after all. )