I have been mourning the loss of my Sagittarius soul mate. I don't understand why he was brought to me and to be taken away a little over a year later. He was born 12/2/72 and passed away 12/11/13. We knew each for several years because we went to school together but never rally knew each other. We began talking to each other in 2011 after all these years. In September of 2012, I decided to give him a chance. I spent the night with him and I knew the next day that he was the one I had been looking for all these years. As we were discovering each other we both realized we watched the same movies over and over, interested in the same types of books, we could banter with each other and not get angry, we both thought quickly, we could laugh at each other and have fun, we both loved the same type of music, and discuss anything. As of a today, he has been gone for 9 months and it feels like he just left.
The day he passed away I woke up with a bad feeling. I feel guilty because I should have stayed home with him instead of going to work because the feeling. I was a little late coming home that evening and that is when I found him. I panicked but was able to call 911 but they were unable to bring him back. He died of a heart attack. The 11th of every month is just a bad day for me.
I know he is still with me in my heart but I do feel his presence from time to time. This may just be wishful thinking but I truly believe he is around. He has a daughter that he raised with the help of his mother. Any time she is having problems he lets me know either in my dreams or I will see signs that something is happening. With the dreams and signs I know I need to pay attention because something is about to be revealed to me.
I really don't know what to think about all of this other than I know I miss him a lot. I know there isn't a time limit on mourning. He and I did discuss how I would react in The event of his death. I believe we both knew and I know I did want to think about it. I did tell him I would keep moving and I am. It isn't easy. All the signs were there but I did not understand what was being shown to me.
I know I am rambling and I need to get this out. The signs I mentioned were knocking on the front door that I heard when I was a lone, he heard it by himself, and we both heard when we were together. I don't know if this makes any difference we are both Native American. His beliefs were more logical and I am more open-minded.
I really don't know what I am seeking right now. All I know his death really shook the foundation that I believed in and I am struggling to get back. I really don't know if I really will get back to that point. I was generally a happy person and when he came into my life I had never been so happy. It isn't the same any more and I want him back. It will never be the sMe again.