I am thankful for believing in myself and thinking I am important

I think you are posting to put your thoughts in writing...I think you already know this is unhealthy relationship...no person has the right to put you down. However, you must learn to respect yourself and STOP this cycle of pity.

This man is obviously letting himself go...100lbs, not following treatment, lazy...come on! What kind of future do you have with this man.

LEAVE, leave now, don't let him back into your life, don't worry about the additional "cost" of not having him, it will be worth every penny!!!!

Whitetara1: First, stop reading, look at something near you which brings you happiness (candle, plant, picture of your children/pet, etc) and take a really deep stomach filling breath, hold it for a few seconds, and exhale.

About your "soulmate": when they say they don't love you, as much as we want to believe it, they probably don't. Furthermore, if you are starting a business together, evaluate why you are. Is it actually sound business sense or do you simply want to be around him? Also, ask yourself, what is about this man, who says he doesn't love me, that I "love" and how is that different from your husband? Or, is it different? Personally, through experience, he may be a symptom/drug of the larger failing of your marriage.

About your "husband": Crisis points are very important, they are crossroads which govern our future lives. They are too be taken seriously. If your marriage has been lackluster for years, your husband may be looking for an easy out...by accusing you of an affair, he may be hiding one or may feel this makes it easier for him to leave without looking bad - or, it helps him to explain why the marriage has fallen apart. When marriages reach this point, it is not one persons fault over another, both parties share equal responsibility and culpability. That said - be honest with yourself. Are you currently married because you "love" and want to be with your husband or are you together for the "children"? If its the later, you are doing them a dis-service, because children learn more from body language/action then they do from words. They intuition and sense is greater than an adults. What they see now between their parents will ultimately determine how they treat or are treated in their relationships later in life. As a parent, you have to accept that responsibility and help shape this vision for them.

Make a list....why did you fall in love with your husband? What made you marry him? it could be something as simple as he likes the color purple, or the way touched your arm. Now ask yourself, is that still there? Now, seriously, think about why you are still there?

This is the most difficult thought process, do you NEED your husband? or do you WANT your husband?

Lastly, have faith, time is linear and the only constant. Hindsight is always 20/20 for a reason, give yourself the strength to understand you can make it through the day without either of them, and then move forward from there.

Good luck and keep us posted