Thanks for the comments Leoscorpion.
Like I said earlier , I'm married and I do love my wife , so I'm not looking for girlfriends or sex outside my home , but If I see a pretty lady I'll look , I won't say anything if I don't know the person. I just wanted to make that clear.
So... back to my friend , we've been co-workers for a long time , I think at least 4 years or more , back when I started talking to her I told her (and her best friend back then, another female no longer there) that I found them really beautiful (specially my friend now she is gorgeous) and her personality was so down to earth and (I'm lost for words)awesome and that If I ever did or say something , anything that they'll consider out of line or inapropiate to please tell me right away to keep things clear between us. That was years ago.
So we were used to say to each other whatever the other was doing wrong , straight to the other's face and it was all good.
I don't think that anyone @ work can do that , maybe outside of work , but since we don't see each other outside of work I don't know.
About me having feelings for her , I have to admit it but I also want to make something clear , I told her sometime ago.... If I was single I'll be hitting on you like there's no tomorrow , so she knows I like her but I'll never cross that line between friends/lovers. And I had told her that a couple of times and she knows I have never been disrespectful towards her. And being completely honest with you .... back then when I said that It was more the physical attraction that made me say that ... later on it was that plus her personality , and most recently (like last week) I had this feeling overcome my whole person (right in the middle of this mess) and I just realized that I have really fallen really hard for her. But I don't want to lose her as a friend, so loosing my best friend is not an option. She doesn't know this since we haven't been able to talk.
So now you have a clearer picture of the situation , and that's why I hurts me so deep when she treats me the way she does , I really don't want to change teams , she's my friend and I don't want to lose her.
I've talked to a couple of our mutual friends and they say the same thing , hold on she'll come around , give her some time....
Touching her inappropriately , no , I don't think so not even by accident.
Even if she knew my new found feelings for her ...... I giving this a second thought ........ right now I don't know how she would react ........... she knows I love her as a friend ..... wow I don't know what to think......
I think you got a really good point there , so you say that she could be withdrawing so she would not interfere in my marriage ... that's a really good point , never looked at it this way.
Thanks for the advice , really helpful to have some listen to what I want to say when she won't listen.