@TaurusGirl7: Not trying to intrude, but this paralleled my last relationship so I hope this helps a bit:

I'm a Scorpio female (30) and my last ex was a Scorpio male (33); pulled the exact same act - I'm more evolved, aware of negative tendencies and willing to internalize and do the work - I'm also a woman, so I'm a bit on the softer side however, that said - he IS running the show, as Captain said. My ex said the same things about women, had the 'legal' bs of his ex (she used him to get an immigration card, then filed an Order of Protection, pressed charges so she could refuse and delay a divorce until the proper amount of time [2 years] had passed, and her status as a citizen was safe - then dropped the charges and filed for divorce! A very common scam). He was also raised by controlling, cold, jaded and manipulative women - he always said things like 'the only reason women cry is to get sympathy'; 'all women are the same - it's always the man who takes the blame, never the poor, sad woman'; 'women take advantage of men and it's unfair in this country', 'women get to abuse men and get away with it, they're all manipulative and evil'. Yes, he was acting like a jerk b/c he'd been burned (who hasn't?!) and I even (hard for a Scorpio, trust me on this) put myself out there when he was wrong to try to prove myself to him - trying over and over to simply explain that I was there and loved him; it never worked. The more I cried, the more he felt in control. The more I 'let it go' in the hopes he'd 'wake up and see', the more he felt he could get away with it.

I loved him (and still do, unfortunately) very deeply as when he was 'stable' he was very loving, sensual, generous and accommodating but he had issues. Plain and simple. He was only ever that way when he absolutely got 'his way'. Very immature.

The ONLY way he came around, freaking out and chasing me down was after I'd written him a long letter (email) expressing everything I felt and stopped responding to his emails/calls/texts as much as I had been; only responding with 'you've read my feelings; I'm willing to talk once you can take responsibility, act mature and show me that you want to TALK, no games' - short answers, to the point, honest and never initiating that contact, only in response. For a while, he still felt the need to play games, try to press me, pick at me, etc. Eventually he flipped, came running back and started consistently trying to instigate an argument seeking attention in any way! This man, who had constantly shut me out - same thing 'try using the phone' then wouldn't return or answer my calls - was now freaking out on me as he was no longer the priority in my life. After a few months, he started texting me trying to explain how he feels (still sounding selfish, but more open) and he hasn't stopped trying to win me over since.

I had to write here b/c it mirrored my situation and really hope you have success, but it seems that you've done your fair share of trying here and you're only being met with resistance. He's willing to take you out and hang as long as you don't discuss your feelings... that's completely unbalanced and unfair. 10 months is a fair amount of time to have an understanding.

In any case, I hope that gave you some minor insight, or helps in the slightest way as I know how difficult it can be. Trust me, and I'm a fellow Scorpio! I'm just a mature one...

My suggestion to you is this: truly consider whether you want to remain attached to this man. Write the letter, no matter how long. Send it and then focus on yourself. 10 months and he's not even willing to tell you that you're his girlfriend?

Yes, Scorpios hate to be backed into a corner, hate to feel pressured but that's just extreme, in my opinion. What I found with my ex is that he's VERY insecure, jealous, wants to be in control and is highly sensitive (as all Scorpios are) but it will never change unless he sees his own actions for what they are. He can't do that if you're enabling his behavior; unintentionally and with the best, if misguided, intentions. You've been extremely patient here! Accommodating, loving, simply trying to obtain some level or security and to try to work toward ending these games yet he's refusing. He's being stubborn and enjoying his control/freedom.

Try distancing yourself a bit - you don't have to shut him out completely; by writing a letter and putting all of your cards on the table (in a loving and heartfelt way) you're setting the tone. Make him sweat a bit by removing yourself from the equation and showing him that as much as you love him, you won't feed into his erratic behavior. Scorpios DO have a hard time letting go of their exes; show him that he wouldn't want to let YOU go by making yourself less available, showing you value yourself enough to express your feelings and stand up for yourself and make him miss you!

Wow; thank you for the insight! Thus far, his potential capacity for apathetic 'judgement' feels more like a sarcastic way to mask his insecurity and also flaunt his unique perception of himself (or projection?). I can see where - if it evolves into something long-term - it could lead to potential alienation of friends and family as the chemistry is intense, we're on the same page as far as our perspectives, morals, values and beliefs are concerned and it's already, even in this early a stage in the game, difficult to pull away from each other when together and alone; it's also difficult to refrain from tuning everything out when we're together and we tend to end up completely absorbed in each other (some attention to surroundings and being aware of the tendency may help to adjust this?). I can also sense the intensity in the way he 'tests' me or seems to become upset or impatient if I can't meet his demand of seeing him as soon as he wants me to - rather impulsive (same-day requests to see each other with no prior notification or discussion). If we were to solidify, I feel we would likely forge a strong bond and the impatience would fade as things became clear as it feels like we would meld into more of a 'team'. I hope it wouldn't lead to a lack of empathy...

I'm fairly self-aware and don't usually point out the 'unconventional behavior' exhibited by others in a negative way as I'm an extremely patient and empathetic person and usually see where people are coming from.

I also feel he may have been bullied; I can sense that a bit.

He's also from another country, and we do hail from different socioeconomic backgrounds...

I guess I can only wait and see; we're in the very early stages of dating here, but I felt a very strong pull and wanted to gain a better grasp on potential pitfalls or 'red flags' prior to proceeding. I also sense that we would likely end up married if this progressed; it would be my first, his second. He also has a young child... he might be a bit more on the conservative and mature side as he seems to really place emphasis on his role in her life as an active father.

All in all, is it a destructive relationship here, or if the right attitude and adjustments are brought to the forefront, a lasting a beneficial relationship?

Again - trying to suss out whether I should move forward with him.

Thank you!!

You really should have your own section on this website!

Insight is much appreciated as this is a VERY new thing and I'm having some issue w/his impatience but have a gut feeling that, if this were to evolve into something more steady, it would be a positive thing...

I'd like to know if it's simply sensitivity and his uncertainly/impatience, or if it's a red flag: he seems to 'test' me - if I can't agree to see him as soon as he asks, he'll suddenly state he's 'booked for the following week', then eventually cave and try to see me. It feels like impatience, sensitivity and spite...

Me: Scorpio - 11/13/1980 (Pisces Rising; Capricorn Moon; Venus in Libra)

Him: Pisces - 2/22/1975 (Pisces Rising; Cancer moon; Venus in Pisces) - I know; ALL water...

Thank you!!!

Thank you! xo

Thank you, Captain.

Ok; new to the forums but a life-long and proud Scorpio! (30 this past year)...

A few of the previous posters stated this, and I will agree that the lesser evolved Scorpios operate in our sign's worst traits.

We'll always be sensitive, extremely deep, analytical yet irrational (to outsiders) at times and although I hate to admit this, the statement that we 'always have a secret agenda' does apply, when accurately translated: we are masters at hiding our emotions, so much so that we rarely address our actual concerns directly. To do so takes a tremendous amount of introspective work and many Scorps (the lesser-evolved) will simply act on impulse - stormy behavior, nastiness, silence, barbs. The rest of us who've chosen to relish in our signs fairer traits will think before we speak, act and consider what it is we truly feel before we communicate or try to express those feelings. I find that female Scorpios tend to be more flexible this way and male Scorpios (I've dated 4!!) like things their way.

If you want a Scorpio's devotion, prove that you're devoted. If you want a Scorpio to express their true feelings, you'll need to create a safe environment for them to express said feelings. Communicate openly, but carefully consider how you relay your feelings as we will take what you say to heart and rarely forget it - which leads to trouble when trusting that what you say in the future is sincere.

All that aside, I'm definitely a sexual person when I'm with someone, loyal, devoted and extremely deep. I love all things that require research, love to analyze people... I've been told a number of times that 'there's just something about me' which attracts people - magnetizes them. I seem to have no problem attracting the attention of large groups of people when out, even if I'm not seeking that (which we rarely are). I love long, interesting conversations; what's usually perceived to be the 'darker' side of life, anything supernatural or metaphysical and also love physics. I'm an artist, musician, designer and also a pretty savvy businesswoman. We also love our mysterious nature, although most often we feel like we appear to be an open book! We also value our uniqueness tremendously, so don't ever lump us into a 'category', or try to say we're 'like all men/women'.

Since this site is anon, I will say this: my feelings are easily hurt, but I've cultivated the ability to weigh the worth of the source, therefore cutting down on the emotional drain.

We're so often misunderstood - coming across as cold, nasty, devious - all due to people misinterpreting our physical expression or the effort we put into hiding our feelings from the world. If I had a dollar for every time someone said "I thought you'd be a b***h, but as soon as I spoke to you, I realized you're so open!", I'd be a very rich woman. My bonds are deep and usually life-long. I'll do anything to help the people I love.

To even begin to understand a Scorpio takes time, consistency, will, effort and patience. We don't trust easily, we are extremely selective when choosing a mate or friend and yes, we're very intense as we're probably the most passionate sign of the Zodiac... we try to understand our loved ones on the deepest level possible and won't ask for anything which we're not willing to give.

As 'Saggie3Scorpio' said: he hears me even when it doesn't seem like he's listening...' that's because we read people so easily and if we actually care for that person in a deep way, we will read into your needs and wants and then actually want to provide that to you. Scorpios tend to be 'givers' by nature; sometimes to our detriment.

Basically, in summation: if you find a true connection with a Scorpio, show them that you're sincere and take the time to try to understand them, they'll give you all that and more in return. Don't simply judge the book by its' cover when it comes to Scorps, as with our sign things run much, much deeper.

I'm a little late here, but I hope this helped!

I'm a Scorpio female and have dated FOUR Scorpio men! All were the most intense, passionate and thrillingly deep relationships I've ever experienced; although most were not without difficulty!

I know Scorp men and I can tell you that these "icy looks" you speak of - may not have been so much 'icy' as him trying to keep his emotions completely hidden. Us Scorps get a bad rap when it comes to the interpretation of our feelings, the way in which we physically express ourselves, etc - we're most often completely misunderstood (i.e. 'icy looks' = hiding, hiding, hiding)... it was more likely that since you're both married, he knew he had to be loyal (an often-overlooked mark of a Scorpio is their devotion and overwhelming sense of loyalty) and simply did what he had to do: shut the situation down, whether he had feelings for you or not. He likely gave in to the feelings at first, then sat back, reflected on what happened, the potential, etc and decided to do what he felt was best. It's quite possible that he's missed you and been thinking of you the entire time, regardless of what he may have projected to you initially.

We're all fairly good actors - we hate deceit, yet we do it every day by hiding our feelings. Scorps are extremely deep and this makes them feel vulnerable, therefore they feel the need to protect their feelings as much as possible.

As 'ScorpioZack' stated above - they would never cheat, but we do tend to hang on. When we bond with someone, it's usually life-long; this is in all relationships, not limited to romantic attachments.

My own personal issues with the Scorpio men I've dated have been that they've become far too 'devoted' in the respect that they were too domineering. I've done the work: reflecting on my own feelings, insecurities, vulnerability - and have become more secure and less driven by the need to feel jealous or hide my feelings, but this is me and it doesn't mean I still don't 'hide' every now and then. I'm also still, despite my best efforts, often misinterpreted and misunderstood as being 'standoffish' when in fact, I'm simply in deep thought!

I can;t help you with shaking him; all I can say is this: flip the switch... think of the situation, feel it and then choose, consciously, to let it go!

I hope this helped... I'm new to the forums but have been studying Astrology and my own sign for many years now.

I'm new to this and must say - I'm impressed with how much you take on!

My birthday is November 13th, 1980.

Much appreciated!

Ok; this is a new 'relationship' - he's been after me for some time and I finally decided to give it a go:

I'm Nov. 13, 1980 he's Jan. 28, 1980.

Much appreciated! xo