oh, and by the way: Life is hard?....you can say that again!! But it is also beautiful and full of surprises if we stop taking ourselves so seriously....my god, pair of soppy old souls we are!!
Have a fab day x
Hi Genuine Sag, no, i haven't got bored with your drama, not atall. You really are a genuine sag and i admire your honesty to reveal all about your situation. I too am 44, and our situations are identical (mine was an Aries man, who is living with another woman and miserable, controlled, trapped - i even went to see her to find the truth! - he hid it from me when we met). I suppose that is why i can relate to you, and write to you as i do. I am as much helping myself as i am you! I too dont do "married men", trapped men (altho they are usually trapped of their own making, they feel confortable like that!) or even anyone else boyfriend, its not my style and i have too much self worth to share anyone. I would never had got involved if i had known the situation. But, these types bring out our rescuing qualities and the bond and the knowing can be incredible because we have faced similar before in our own situations with past loves. We can truly be connected to them and its a very genuine real love on both sides.
Our logic and our maturity makes us break away and end it a thousand times, knowing we our wasting our lives on a love who is not ready to stand up for what he feels, and may never. Though i dont doubt your Pisces genuinely wants to be with you, he may not have the tools to get him to that place, and that is one thing you (and i) have to accept. We cannot do the work for them. We are all a different stages in our soul development, and lessons you have learnt he has yet to go through. You must work through the guilt of ending the relationship and worrying what he will do to himself. You are not responsible for his emotional state, altho it may appear so. You are only responsible for yours. He has probably opened up to you more than he any other woman and that places a tremendous amount of responsibility on your shoulders to "fix" him, help him, love him, pay him back for the suffering he has been through to see you. He hasnt done anything in true manipulation, he is probably unware consciously of how this sharing has weighed heavy on your heart and the worry you feel. He is too wrapped up in his own despair to see clearly how he affects you. No Pisces truly wants to hurt anyone, it is not our nature. Pisces do not play with other peoples feelings, as we do not like our feelings played with...it hurts deeply, we feel everything. He is just reaching out, trying to make sense of his life and he trusts you, unfortunately tho, he is looking for a rescuer, someone to make it all better. Yet he is the only one that holds the key to set himself free. Detach as best you can, your heart will catch up with your head, and in moments of pain and longing to connect to him and be there, pass the care of him over to a higher place (God, if you believe in that..) Ask that he finds peace and a resolution to his life, and you do too. Ask that he is taken care of, given strength and clarity to go forward in his life. It really is out of your hands, you have loved him as best you can, its up to him to realise that or not. Do not give anymore of your beautiful energy, spirit, wisdom and love until you are sure he can give the same back tenfold! Right now he is no good to anyone and you would kill yourself and break your soul trying to bring him to a place you have reached already, when he is not ready. As for friends?...thats a hard one. We want to be in the background, there for them....but really we are still waiting, hanging on for them to claim us. Have no expectations, set yourself free, deal with your own pain of loss and seperation from him. Send him love and wish him well in your heart. Grow from your experience with him and put it to use in your own life, you have finally set boundaries for yourself and for your heart. if this love ever has a chance of ever coming full circle and returning to both of you it will come from a healthy place, not from a place of despair or guilt on either of your parts.
You have drawn this situation again, as you say a mirror, to learn from it finally, you have if you let it go. Forgive yourself for any wrong and pain you caused past lovers, or you have caused yourself.
I hope this helps, your strength is in your ability to love so completely and fully. You are not a fool for getting involved again, you are real, you went with your heart......the romantic lives in all of us and we all hope for that true lasting love...its the stuff that all the great novels, poems and movies were based on!
But, we must be able to see when a relationship or association is stuck, and we can do no more to move it forward - that is the time to let go and pass the care of it over. Have faith and trust that what is right for you will come into your life and fulfill you in every way possible!
Sending you loads of positive vibes, strength and peace. You are very real and honest, be proud of who you are and celebrate you big caring heart...the world needs more of people like you! Go out there and SHINE again!!
Best wishes x
Hi Genuine Sag,
First: you have to ask yourself what are you gaining from this situation with him? What are you hoping to acheive?
If he is so confusing/withdrawn/inconsitent with his feelings then why are you continuing trying to make a connection with him all on your own? hard work for you. What does he bring to your life?
Second, if you give your opinion, it is only your opinion. But more important, ask yourself why you would want to give your opinion on his marriage?
By asking these questions to yourself, you will understand your feelings towards him and start being honest to yourself.
If it is him you want and he is married (regardless of whether he is manipulated or unhappy or started the flirting) he is married and until or if ever that situation changes you should stay away and not become a 3rd party or reason for an unhappy man to make his own decisions in his life. It has to come from him, or he has to stay with his choices and complain about them.
You didnt cause the confusion in him by making contact again. he sounds like he was confused anyway and you were the catalyst. Find someone who is free and not confused and leave the past where it is until HE is 100% sure that he wants the past to become his future.
I know that i have been direct with you BUT i have been in a similar situation myself and after 2 years of being messed around, pursued and then put on hold by a soul love...i have been confused out of my head by what i now realise was a confused man anyway who doesn't know what he wants and will not at this stage of his life regardless of whether i am in the background or in the main frame! But, it actually had nothing to do with me, him really. I finally started asking myself what part did i play in this game, and why?? Find your real motives for staying in it. if you genuinely love him then let him go to work it out and he will return. Real love makes two people find eachother again whatever the circumstances. If you are just flattered by the attention and admiration of a lover of days gone by then find out whats missing in your life that this man's fleeting attention is filling?
Hard questions to yourself, honest answers about yourself. I've had to do it but it will set you free and in turn set him free to come back together once more properly and permanently or both move on.
It is hard to let go of our "loves" and our soulmates as we are truly connected and the bond is so strong but remember it is just a chapter in the long journey of our lives sometimes returned to to get closure or understand yourself better and grow.
I wish you well my friend. I'm a Pisces (24.02.1965) with Sag moon, Libra rising...and my path to love has been hard but i have grown loads by understanding my own heart through painful and heartbreaking lessons.
You sound very compasionate, loyal and understanding but direct that on yourself first and your wants and needs not any man who is not able to value it yet. Stop trying to second guess his actions, words, emotions...and second guess your own.
To ILOVEFISH...i will keep writing! All of you inspire me to remember all that is great in us. ( i get down days too!) We Fish "heal" others whether through words, verse, laughter, touch, smile or love....and i love talking to others who get it! Maybe a healing profession for you?...there are many forms and we Fish get as much out as we put in because it comes from a genuine place...its our nature! Wishing you well and lots of Fishey positive vibes to you !
Hi ILOVEFISH...You need to get some space first and foremost! You cannot be everything to everyone without losing yourself and losing your way. Draw some boundaries and put yourself and your needs first. Hard for Fish, but you have to. By spending some time re-chaging/alone (walking/reading/yoga/meditating or just singing along through a day of your choice) the answers will come to your next step forward and the way will start to present itself little by little. Trust your flashes of insight, your imagination and the way your daydreams are leading you. You will also have the energy then to take action, not drained but throwing out your energies to all in need. Time for you now...you can go back to all who love and need your big heart and compassion later!
He is coming back to comfort you and lead you forward. Take his guidance, as he can see a bigger picture then you from where he is. He is at peace and wants you to be. Pray to be released from the pain of the past and you will be....each day will seem a little brighter and clearer. Your love for him and his love for you need never be forgotten, and it never will be, as it is the only thing that is real in this world. Feel blessed that you had the opportunity to be shown pure love from someone and to be able to love another....you will be able to feel that again with someone because of that. It is time to move forward with the rest of your life and not to feel guilty or scared...it will unfold beautifully if you have faith. Look after yourself and sleep peacefully knowing you are truly loved and watched over .
To Xenia22, ILOVEFISH Moosic and Lightworker...thanks for feedback! And i say again: Pisces have great gifts, embrace them, work with them and love yourself for them. We have plenty of weak sides to our personalities too, but dont endulge them or let others. Its hard sometimes as we all make mistakes and we are all a work in progress...but this site is great for reminding all Fish that we are unique and wonderful (without an ego)...its a real boost when we are having a "beat ourselves up" moment, or dragged down by someones bad energy!
God we can cry buckets cant we? lose direction and get confused and can swing from high to low in a second! But swim up always (you know what works for you) and flash that genuine warm and cheerful smile and know your strength is in your faith in yourself...and feeling everything for real. Magnetism?...you bet we have!! xx
You are resonating at a higher vibration now and are tuning into abundance, peace and joy. You obviously have worked through your issues, past etc..and have come to a place of understanding and acceptance of who and what you are. Enjoy being rewarded and keep searching for truth in every situation in your life and in yourself and your faith and honesty will be rewarded! Life is good when we see it that way and let go of all that doesn't serve us. Best Wishes to you!
Hi all you gorgeous Fish! ...you got to love us (although sometimes we dont love ourselves and give ourselves the hardest time!) I'm a 24th Feb Pisces too..1965 (Sag Moon/Libra Rising). We are way ahead of our time us pisces - sensitive, understanding, empathic, spiritual, mystic intuitive, funny and love with a big genuine heart always. We can smell a cheater straight away and someone not genuine...yet we can't let go sometimes even though they trampled all over our feelings (soulmate ex was an Aries male)...they get inside our soul and even tho we run they pull on our heartstrings (they know our soft nature underneath) and they miss us so bad when we have swam away! We hate being cold to ex partners or friends when we have made up our minds enough is enough and we deserve better. We dont like confrontation either (along with bullsh*t), we like harmony....but we can bark when severely manipulated. We have a great ability to forgive and bounce back and value ourselves and know our uniqueness and inner strength. Fought very hard with my Pisces nature when in my teens/early twenties (anorexic, no emotional boundaries, felt too much other peoples pain, loosing myself in others). Our greatest saviour is learning to understand ourselves (dark side and all), stop beating ourselves up that we cant make everything perfect or we made a mistake, trusting our highly attuned intuition, finding peace in meditation, laughing, forgiving ourselves, focusing on our passions (music, journaling, pets, books, poetry, dancing, shoe shopping!), rest and withdrawing, pampering ourselves and celebrating our good traits. Its a true journey through the soul being a Pisces...and we can get distracted, but when focus we can truly elevate ourselves and enlighten others. We feel everything and thats great because as someone once quoted "you can forget what someone said or what someone did but you never forget how someone made you feel" Make your decisions on how something/someone makes you feel all you Pisces and you wont go wrong - and likeways...stay a true Pisces and you'll never be forgotten for touching someones heart or brightening their world. The world is a better place for us true, brave and sensitive fish! Love to you all xx