I am a novice to the art of reading tarot cards. I have tried with my honest opinion to decipher the message in two spreads I did today. I am such an amateur, and would greatly appreciate what the rest of you think about my interpretations.
I did two readings today about a fractured friendship I had with someone. I really did give a lot to this friend, I was available for emotional support, I bought her a lot of things and sometimes dinners out of my affection for her. I drove her places when she needed me to. I felt like she got to comfortable with the service and started to "expect" it.I felt like I was being taken advantage of by this person and I sent them a lengthy e-mail, detailed with why and how I felt the way that I did. I did this thinking my friend would respond and we could talk it over, but unfortunately I have gotten no response. I let this go for awhile out of my frustration but now I feel like it is time to deal with this.
Okay my attempted reading #1:
How she sees me as a person - The Hermit
She sees me as a person who is very philosophical in nature, as a person who ponders deeply over the dilemmas of life. A person who spends time alone, connecting with their inner being and as one who posses great insight into the
higher dimensions of the self, mind and existence.
How she feels about our relationship now - Three of Swords
She is heartbroken over the termination of our friendship. She is sad over the loss and quite possibly misses my company. Three of Swords is the classic card of heartbreak and the pain of losing one who is dear. She may feel abandoned, rejected, betrayed and is in emotional pain over what has happened between the two of us.
Her hidden feelings about me - Seven of Swords REVERSED
She might feel cowardly or secretly angry and frustrated with herself for not responding to my upsetting e-mail. She may feel as if she is running away from her problems and possibly feels as if she can't deal with them on her own. OR she feels I am a coward and I don't seek proper help when I need it. Also that I may be to indecisive or simply a chicken on some matters that would otherwise require courage.
What she wants from me - Six of Wands
My intuition tells me that this card signifies her wish for me to return, or for our friendship to start again.
How she felt about our friendship before - Six of Pentacles
She felt grateful for our friendship and felt like her needs were being met while we were together.
What she would prefer to happen in our friendship - Knight of Cups REVERSED
My intuition tells me that she may wish to meet a man with personality characteristics similar to mine. To meet a man like me, or to meet my soul in a man's body. (She has told me before that if I was a man, she would totally date me - those were her exact words) I think she admires, if not loves some of my personal characteristics and seeks to find a mate with a personality somewhat like mine)
Or she fears another confrontation, and does not want to speak with me. Yet she still may feel sad or upset over what has happened?
Or she has been obsessing over what has happened and is confused and may need a break.
Okay, attempted reading #2
I attempted the "Silent Spread". This spread is meant to provide insight into why a member of a particular friendship is no longer speaking to the querent.
Position 1: The Matter at hand - Four of Pentacles REVERSED
I am a little unsure about this one, but I feel it could mean that both of us are unwilling to give in - we both may want to keep a hold on ourselves and not reach out to the other to offer an apology. I feel we both may be holding on too tightly to our beliefs that we are not to blame and it is the other girls "fault". We both see the error in the other girl's way but are unwilling to admit any in our own.
Position 2: Reason for the end of contact - Death REVERSED
The possible reason for Valerie not wanting to make contact with me again could be due to her resistance to believe or admit that she did anything wrong. She may not want to shift in her beliefs and accept the possibility that she may have been at fault and was indeed being selfish and allowing me to be taken advantage of. Due to this, she is not ready or willing to make contact again.
This could also mean that my friend wishes for the friendship to be dead and she may wish for it to NOT rise again.
Position 3: Possibility of her making contact again: Knight of Cups
I interpret this to have one of two meanings;
It could mean that eventually, she will decide to approach our friendship with a fresh perspective and may decide to view our friendship as a "new" one and start over. Thus implying that she will contact me again, or the possibility of the resurrection of our friendship in the future exists. The Knight of Cups is famous for being the messenger and bringing news. In its upright position, I assume the news is more likely to be positive. This card could very well be a indication that my friend will contact me, or would be pleased if I decided to contact her.
I also know that this card signifies new relationships, new friends. It could be that my friend has moved on and/or has found a new friend that has taken my place. A new person who has filled the void that I left. I know for a FACT that she has met a new girl and my friend has claimed that this new person is "a great friend that makes her happy" (this information was obtained from her internet blog) however, my friend does have a profound taste for exaggeration. So this could mean that she has decided to move on. This could also reinforce the possible meaning of the Death reversal - the possible meaning that she wishes our friendship to be dead. It may be she has found someone new and does not need or want me anymore, as her needs are being met elsewhere.
What do you guys think? Tell me what you think about the meanings, positions, the way I read them, anything and everything! I really want to learn how to read the Tarot. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thank You!