I've been using a RWS deck to do some self-readings, but I've been having a lot of trouble lately.
When I first got the cards (about a month ago), I did some readings on my situation with a guy I dated last year and they described the situation perfectly. A few weeks after that, there were some changes on the situation so I decided to do another reading (this was less than 2 weeks ago). Those readings seemed quite accurate as well and made sense, and advised me to take action.
When I did these readings, I managed to stay calm and objective. I felt "connected" to my intuition, detached from the outcome and open to see what the cards had to tell. And I was surprised by what the cards showed me, because despite being in a complicated situation, the outcomes were quite positive (not a rosy happily-ever-after too-good-to-be-true positive, but instead showed a peaceful reunion and a friendly talk between us). In fact, I wasn't really sure whether to believe them (I tend to be quite negative and expect the worst sometimes). But the past and present were very accurate and insightful, so I tried.
However, as the days went by, I started getting really anxious and a bit depressed. I am in a very confused and conflicted state of mind at the moment, feeling hormonal and all over the place. Last thursday, despite feeling depressed and conflicted, I decided to do a reading (on this topic) to see if it could help me. I wasn't able to concentrate, I had a heavy feeling on my chest, my heart raced, I was feeling worried, scared, anxious. I felt "off". I wasn' t feeling any clear direction on which cards to draw, but decided to go ahead with it anyway. And BAM, completely negative reading. It made sense, but it was horrible. Worst case scenario. I started feeling even WORSE.
I went away for the weekend, but kept feeling a bit down. I decided to give it another go yesterday. I did two readings and had the same kinds of feelings.. expecting the worse, full of fear, heart racing, heavy pressure in my chest, couldn't concentrate on which cards to draw. And again, both readings made perfect sense but they were completely negative and just horrible. I saw ALL of my worst fears reflected on those spreads, the outcomes were the worst possible scenarios and I drew all of the cards I feared seeing. Even when I tried asking how to find peace, the cards I drew were completely horrible and indicated pain, anguish and sorrow.
Could this have been caused by over-reading? I decided not to read on this topic anymore and just let it go. But now I am confused as to whether to take action or not. How can the readings be so different? Which ones are the accurate ones? These horrible readings left me feeling quite anguished and depressed and confused, so I'm finding it hard to stay calm and let it go. I don't know if these last readings were affected by my state of mind and my emotions. I saw all of my fears reflected in them, so I'm not sure if the cards were reflecting back my emotions, perhaps telling me to stop the over reading, or if this is what is actually happening/going to happen.
Any advice/feedback is appreciated! This has got me feeling quite confused.
Thanks for reading!