I haven't used him at all. We have had a very long friendship and at one point he told ME that he wasn't willing to take it further and that he just wanted to remain friends and I respected that and at the time I was single. He has been hurt deeply in the past by other women and I never treated him that way and always put him first before my feelings. He walked away from me I did not walk away from him. Infact I finally told him a few years ago that I wanted to be with him and he laughed at me and hurt me deep inside.
Then we became friends again because he said he had been wrong for the way he treated me and that he wanted to make amends. He regretted missing his chance but he woudl stand by my side as my friend.
TheCaptain..you make it sound like I used him and tossed him aside which wasn't the case at all, sorry if I don't understand your intent but that is the fact that he walked away from me several times while I was single and after the last time I basically said screw I wasn't going to waste another 5 years waiting for someon who didn't want me so I moved on with my life.
When I was on the boat in the dream it was gray and cloudy. I don't deny having feeling for him to this day but you can lead a horse to water but can't make him drink. So I justed opted to be there for him as a friend like HE said he wanted. I just gave him what he said he wanted..a friend to confide in and trust and I did exactly that.
I guess deep down I know that he has feelings for me buthe is so back and fourth I don't really know if that makes since. He hasn't talked to me since December adn I don't think he will ever gain I just thought I meant more to him then just walking away. I only did what he asked and that was to be his friend but someone how I come out looking like the jerk?
I admit also that my relationship with my fiance' is no where near what it is with my Gem friend. Though my fiance' treats me well and i do nothave to question his love for me or his intentions and his wanting me. I truly love my fiance' but I can't help but feel that at some point my Gem adn I are meant to be together, its that gut feeling that justnever goes away and it isn'tbecause I just want it to happen. I have weighed both sides and I love my Gem friend and would be devestated if he left me if I was in a romantic relationship. I am already devestated and brokenhearted just being his friend.
I guess I am just really confused because I only did want he wanted and somone I got hurt inthe process and he is angry at me. I never lead him on and I never lead him to think I would lead him on. I put myslef on the line and asked him once to be with me and give it a try and he just ignored me.
I guess it just pains me more knowing he won't be in my life anymore and everday is a struggle to not just lay and bed and cry and wish he would just stop being so angry at me for something I didn't do.
Sorry I'm just beside myself and have a hard time believing hehas any feelings towards me when he acts this way.
His birthday is June 16, 1971
I am December 18 1981
He's a Gem and I am Sag.