Reading all these posts has been an eye opener. Thanks to all. Does anyone know a Cancer man that you have a purely platonic relationship with? Someone who would be willing to read through these and give a reaction, some advice, etc.? I was reading a different thread where Scorpio men were getting bashed, but it sounded like for good reasons, and we women and men are intrinsically different. It would be so interesting to hear what he might have to say!
I was in a relationship with a pisces man, gemini moon, cancer ascending .. Yes, a lot to handle! but, I thought I was up for it. I've known and had/have tons of pisces friends (and more) and they can be such frosted flakes - no offense meant there. But, I hadn't thought of cancers being this way .. until now. I will, in a very loving, laughing With you way, say, It's always a full moon with the cancer people. I have, well had, a really good cancer girlfriend. She has a really good heart, but she is super flaky. I just hadn't "put that" on cancer people in a generalised sense. I've finally had it with her though. If she needs me I am totally expected to be right there, that minute. When I need her however, good luck. Her last houdini was the last straw. Tiny tidbit : I was in ICU for four days and she still couldn't bother to be there for me in any way .. then later she explains to me that her purse was stolen and she didn't have her cell phone. And the day she got it back she called me. Are you kidding me? She lives within two miles of me and as we all know, you can use a different phone. What a lame excuse. Anyway!
I'm reading here how a cancer needs to test you, you have to be worth it, you need to have undying patience, etc. You need to be understanding, flexible, etc. What is it exactly that you get back for all this? Any relationship should be a two way street, y'know? This relationship that ended not long ago at all, the romantic one with the guy I described above was so similar to all these other stories. Almost spooky!
I was the one trying to slow things down, he was the go, go, go person. He swept me off my feet, told me I was "the one" soulmates, I am really so perfect .. He assured me that he was "no bullshit, for real." He romanced the hec out of me and yes, it was absolutely delightful. I put my trust in him, I gave him my trust. I'm a scorpio (obviously, from my avatar, it's double scorp because my Venus is in scorpio as well = yowsa!). Trust does not come easily for me. And yes, as someone asked, scorpios are private people. I am a very good listener and people often confide in me. It often takes me a little longer to open up and I'm thinking that's what a cancer here was saying of themselves in terms of needing to know that you are worth it. Trust does not come easily to me, though I think that has a lot to do with my life experience, we are all individuals as well as our signs, yes?
So, with this man, I did open up, I did trust him. I went to him. The night we came to know each other in the biblical sense (lol) was "heaven" as he described it. I was heaven, everything was "better" with me in his life. The last thing he said to me, as I was falling asleep, and he was looking deep into my eyes, was, "Thank you for trusting me." The next morning however, everything, and I mean everything, changed. 180 degrees.He suddenly got scared, with reality in his face perhaps? I wouldn't know. He asked me to leave, which I did. He told me "it's not you, it's me .. I thought I was ready for this, I'm not." And then, houdini!! I can not tell you all how humiliated I felt, and still feel. It's over, I'm moving on and dedicating a year to myself, to work on me, no romance. Because like I said, all relationships are a two way street, you can't tango alone. I am looking back and trying to identify what could have been red flags, warning signs, etc.
And even after this treatment, I was still there for him. That day when it all changed, he took me out to lunch and proceeded to tell me about the last four women in his life and how each of them hurt him. And a variety of other horrors. He told me things he hasn't told anyone besides his best friend. I thought the choice of venue was inappropriate, but I didn't judge him for it. I was very, very understanding. Initially I thought, hey, he panicked, happens to all of us. Just give him some space and he will come around. After all, he confided in me and before I left that day I saw tears in his eyes. So, I was emapthetic, patient, and still very much there for him. I would have even been willing, with his help, to have a platonic relationship with him because he is wicked smart, and I love people around me who can challenge me, people I can learn from. Also, I thought, if he indeed had not been full of sh!te, he would work through his reaction and then we could continue the lovely thing we had going. We have a lot in common.
But, no. Apparently the decision he came to that morning is the one that remains. We had exactly one conversation after that. He did not want to hear about my feelings, even though he poured his out to me. I am not welcome in his life. He has no plans, according to him, to ever see me, speak to me, etc. again. And even though I've read a lot of situations here with back and forth, I would be shocked if he ever got in touch with me.
How can anyone treat someone this way and be able to sleep at night? How can anyone want to go, go, go and then completely turn their back on you. With both these people there is zero sense of responsibility for their actions. Neither of them would "give you the shirt of their back" or be there for you when you really need them. That is not reality. And so, yeah, even though he is not born under cancer, he really behaves like one. When you break it down, he can not stand for his own self image to be altered. He wants to think of himself as being a compassionate, loving, caring man. I find him to be a very selfish person. I feel sorry for the next guy who tries to win my trust, I don't know him but already I feel compassion for him.
Well, whew, I'm out of steam. This has been cathartic, so thanks!! Good luck to you all and never, ever allow anyone to treat you like a piece of furniture. Like something ordered from Ikea that you thought would fit but, when it's not perfect you ship it back. Know what I mean? Hope so. Whatever sign they are, ladies, don't let yourself be jerked around by anyone. Patience and understanding are one thing, being used with no sense of responsibility is quite another. And I know how much harder it is when you have invested so much time in someone, believed in that person. But, in these cases, give them that space, give them a stratosphere of it!
I know I'm worth it and so are you!! Bises, S