Seems like he likes a challenge.

The second you give yourself over again he will be gone again.

Wouldn't you rather someone who you don't have to play games with just to keep them around?

Oh boy

Darling Confused,

Somewhere in you, you know you deserve better girl. She's not the ex. He ignored you to your face.

Let me guess the excuses:

She is depressed/crazy/delusional and can't let go/going through a rough time/her cat died so he got back together to cheer her up/save her from suicide/protect the world from her wrath...

He doesn't really want to be with her but she's so unstable he has no choice but to sacrifice himself for the greater good....

Blah blah blah blah

Sweetheart you are hurt and might not believe this now but there is a better man for you.

Don't waste your time on this one.

Aunt Buck by just respecting yourself and walking away is the 1st step to not repeating your past.

Treat yourself the way you want to be treated. Keep making yourself the priority. I think bluecat gave some great advice.

I'm so sorry to say this but it looks like he keeps coming back because you are being a doormat to walk all over whenever he can't have her. Once he has a chance he will walk all over you again back to her.

You need to find someone else darling sorry to be so blunt.

Hey Beautiful ladies

It's so awesome to see everyone from all over the world being there for each other.

Cappy 2 it's great that you are doing well. Now that I am out of that mess I never want to go back. I met someone else and I know you will too and don't worry it won't be someone you have to settle for (In the beginning when I ended things that's what I was afraid of) You will find someone who will make you feel like you are floating in the sky and cause your friends to catch you staring off into space with the most ridiculous smile ever!

Also Waterman I am not mad at your comments you made to me. I like reading your opinion. If I didn't like you and wanted you to go away I'd ask you to be in a relationship with me - hehe just teasing you

I know there are two sides to every story.

I'm not an angel and neither was my cancer guy.

The bottom line of it all is that I want to spend my time being happy and living life to the fullest and not being sad and dreaming of something better so I felt I had no choice but to leave him.

This turned out to be the right decision for me. I think everyone knows somewhere inside of them what is best and for some it is to hold on but for some it's just time to let go.

I didn't want to wake up and realize life had passed me by and I didn't enjoy it.

Lots of love and best wishes to everyone

Diamond

Hey Y

What does that mean? -Call in my ticket?

You will not always feel sad and it is not always going to be the way it is now.

He'll be back. You might not even want him by then. Just hold yourself together and don't fall apart in the meantime.

Lots of love to you xoxo

Diamond

Hmm my post disappeared...let's try this again

Waterman, that's great that you "get" the girl but what about the girl you say you love who loves you but will never "get" you.

How can you claim to love someone if you will just walk away from them, not because they hurt you but because you think they will hurt you? That doesn't show you love them it shows you love you.

There is nothing wrong with putting yourself first and protecting yourself from being hurt - but let's be real that this is a self centered action. If you truly love someone you will put your heart at risk for their heart. Not break someone else's heart for self preservation of your own.

I'm just giving my opinion so don't get mad at me besides being a bit self centered is not such a bad thing. I'd definitely advise all you ladies out there not to knock it till you've tried it

I also don't think any lady should accept the excuse of "retreating to the shell for safety" when it comes to disrespectful behavior.

It seems like a cancer (a bad one) will easily risk leaving the safety of their shell when it comes to having their needs met but not when it comes to meeting the needs of someone who bends over backwards for them.

Also Paula J I think once the games have begun they don't stop (in reference to if he comes back)

Waterman that's great for you that you "get" the girls but what about the girl who loves you and who you say you love that will never "get" you?

How can you really love someone if you cannot even show it? If your priority is protecting yourself and walking away from someone you claim to love because you are afraid they will hurt you and not because they actually did hurt you then you don't love her you love you.

It's just my opinion but I don't think it matters how much someone thinks they love you if they can't even treat you decently.

Why not just keep to yourself all the time instead of sporadically coming out of your shell to use someone as it suits your need and then disappear during their time of need?

Sorry if this sounds harsh but I've been through what these women are going through and I'm just curious to know why...

You have every right to put yourself first and protect yourself and do what's best for you but let's not pretend that this type of action is not self centered.

Love is risking your heart for the heart of someone else not breaking the heart of someone else for the self preservation of your own. (just my opinion again don't get mad at me)

I was dating a cancer man who was the typical clingy mushy cancer in the beginning and then did a 180 after I pointed out something I didn't like about his behavior. I tried and tried and waited for him to go back to his old sweet self and read everything from A-Z about the cancer male. Then I started reading forum after forum full of fabulous ladies waiting indefinitely for their cancers to treat them the way they deserve to be treated. Some have been waiting 1 year some have been waiting 10 some even more.

NONE of these caring beautiful women have ever come around with a story of "happily ever after". So after trying to say to myself my ending will be different from hers countless times and walking on eggshells and doing more for him than he does for me and rationalizing his behavior and making excuses for him and reading all you've had to say and reading about your willingness to to treat these men better than you treat yourselves - I'm guilty of it too. I waited for his next phone call and I told him that I don't like the way he treats me and that I will never be seeing him again. Now I do not have to wait for him ever again. I do not have to pay for cruel actions of the ex who broke his heart. I do not have to wonder if he will call. I do not have to wonder why he ignored my text. I do not have to wonder if he will ever treat me as good as I treat him. The sad thing is that I NEVER HAD to do any of those things, I chose to do them. Now he realizes that he screwed up but now it's too late. While I was caught up in him I was afraid to let go and I thought I would never find someone who could make me feel the way he did. Lucky for me I probably won't find someone who will make me feel like he did: someone to confuse me and leave me feeling alone when I am right next to them. Someone who makes me feel like I'm a drug addict - momentarily relieved and happy to have contact with them and then anxiousness setting in shortly after and craving the next encounter. I've had a few rebound dates since - of course nothing works out if your heart is not in it but just last week I met someone who makes me excited again. I don't regret the time I spent on this cancer because I have learned what will happen if I ever let someone treat me like garbage again. Thank you ladies for sharing your stories and your pain. It was facing all of your situations that helped me see what I was doing to myself and what I was allowing someone to do to me. Good luck with your lives I wish you all the best. You all sound like great people and I hope you don't wait to get what you deserve in life.