I have been so discontent with my life for as long as I can remember and have always believed that there is a big part of me that is missing. I never feel like I am completely whole or content with what I have. I have always struggled with anxiety and depression and have been on a lifelong quest to find the piece of me that is missing. I never feel completely happy and satisfied with where my life is,I am constantly seeking out new and different ways to satisfy this insane need for something that I have no idea what it is. and it seems the longer I go with out finding whatever it is that I'm searching for the stronger and stronger this feeling of intense craving for it I get. I dont understand it and I'm beginning to feel like I'm going crazy, like whatever this missing piece of me is, maybe doesn't even exist. I feel like I'm getting closer but am running out of patience. I want so desperately to feel like I am whole and to feel genuinely happy for what would be the first time in my life. Its very frustrating because I should be happy and content with my life, I'm 26,have 2 beautiful daughters,been with their father for 10 years,live in our own house,friends and family that are loving and supportive. I just dont know what to do anymore.
In the past few years however, I have been starting to believe that what I am missing in myself has something to do with some kind of psychic gift that I have. i am sure that I do possess some natural psychic abilities and i very much want to make them stronger. I know I have the ability to see spirits or at least I used to when i was a very small child, I'm not sure if I repressed those abilities because it was scary for me being very young or if mabe i just grew out of it, either way I very much want to try to get that gift back. Im not sure how to go about doing that i want to learn as much as i can, because i think that if i can develop my psychic abilities to thier fullest potential, i truely believe that i will be able to finally feel whole and content as well as better my life. I think that maybe why I have such an intense and overwhelming feeling of urgency is because I am supposed to help myself and others perhaps as a medium or something.
If there is anyone who can relate to this feeling or has any advice to help me, I would be forever grateful. I am so desperate for help and guidance and any reply is most definitely appreciated. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, even if you have no advice to offer, I am still thankful for your time.