I saw a youtube video that said the number one sign who is the worst narcissist is Taurus me I'm totally suicidal now I've had like three attempts and been hospitalized three or four times the first two times we're like throwing caution to the wind if I woke up who cares and I woke up in the hospital but the day before yesterday it was happening and I felt fine happy about it until all the sudden one second went by and I decided to stop but I'm regretting it I swear everytime I read my horoscope it basically says that the day is going to be horrible or that I'm misunderstanding things or that there's going to be some kind of challenge and basically just go back to bed and when I read my husband's an Aries it basically almost always says the seasonal part for you you always know just what to say just what to do it's like unbelievable I don't know what I think anymore I believe in God but I'm sick of this narrow Gates I'm sick of us not having an understanding and not being enlightened I'm sick of him having the power to heal suffering but watching others who are so innocent suffer so I hate him but I seem to not be in a good Groove with the rest of the world everyday honestly is worse than the last day I'm so isolated so alone completely awkward misunderstood and I am truly hated I'm also bipolar which I just now accepted but I don't know what that means in terms of anything all I know is that my intentions are never bad but my world is chaotic isolation and I always have problems