what kind of relationship is there between a Metal Rat female and a Wood Horse male? They have been in a relationship since 2007 and got engaged in 2009. From what i understand, the Wood Horse is more stable in relationships than typical horses. The Metal Rat female is witty and desires long-term stability in her relationship with them. They are intellectually compatible, fun-loving and concerned about the longevity of their relationship since he avoided women after 22 years when he was cheated on, and she left an abusive relationship after almost 7 years.

what kind of a relationship is there between a life path 3 female and a life path 7 male? these numbers come from the sum of numbers in their birthdates. Thanks!!

i'm glad i started this talk, as frustrating as it's seemed, so far. after all, i don't want to invest any more needless time and energy in a delusive relationship with a martyred aspect on either side--just straight talk and follow-up action as far as real intentions for it to be happening and continuing at all in the first place. i experienced a moment that at least spelled it out for my in specific words from him : "I am choosing to be monogamous with you". so there went the excuse to take up yet more of my valuable time and energy in a vaguely defined relationship with me. as for long-tem loyalty, using examples of relationships i at least noted he practices unhesitatingly was wise--he gave me an enthusiastic "That's for sure!!" in response. but if he can stick with people through thick and thin despite differing opinions and wants, and respect their right to be themselves while encouraging them to consider his opinions and wants, why not us? responsibility is also an area that needed to be addressed too...i simply used his ideals to apply them elsewhere, since he claims he doesn't believe in double standards. he showed me he cared yesterday by refusing to hug or 'hands-on' a female friend in need of migraine help, and let me know she was too out of it to understand otherwise, which showed me he could reflect on that possibility. i let him know i'd briefly understand the gesture if we all knew each other well enough not to have more happen. he also told me voluntarily about an interaction between the old flame in political activism emails to let me know there wasn't anything else happening, and even his disagreements with her opinions in an area i know means a lot to him. i simply nodded quietly as he talked, and added a neutral reassurement about his efforts to dialogue about that with her. so far, so good.

Hi 5Frank5,

I appreciate your participation in this topic, and thank you for the link. I just know that a lot has happened that hasn't necessarily all been written about here and i can see where people respond to what they see what's been written in this forum as the whole story. I've been through various relationships and from what i have learned it's about better communication and bottom lines, not 'judgement calls'. I believe we all have a right to what we want out of relationships, including non-monogamous ones, if we can be clear about what we want. My fiance has had relationship experiences that left him with the feeling he is looking for his soulmate. Me, too. How deeply we go into that need is the issue. Do we look for a compulsive, "quick fix" without realizing that? He has told me that there was no emotional connection in his last relationship, despite his ex's quiet charm (being a belly dancer, I thought her charms were more obvious <lol>) and he was genuinely devasted when he found out she was nonmonogamous, but he credits her with being upfront about that. He has told me his self-image at the time had to do with its demise, and was trying to challenge himself more when he met me. I've made it clear I don't want to be a relationship that is not equal and an excuse for delusional martyrdom (myself included, all things being fair and honest)--the other day when i told him that, he told "I am choosing to be monogamous with you". We bumped into a female friend who he felt was 'falling' for him while he had trying to be empathetic (a big thing for him as he is a Nichiren Buddhism is compassion) and he showed me his respect for me as well as her unrealistic expectations by simply shaking her hand firmly at the time, and not making himself available to help with a migraine headache he could have helped with in a literally hands-on way, as she tried to get him to do). He also voluntarily gave me details last night that he didn't necessarily need to share with me about a former love interest from long ago who wanted to work with him on spreading political activism via e-mails, because I'd let him know it was crucial for me to know where such people were coming from in a relationship with him. He has also encouraged me to be close friends with her, as well as a recent female acquaintance we met at the performance we attended together a little while ago. So it's not like he isn't trying to mend any fences among us in an upfront way, either. I was just concerned about where our relationship was heading for the future, and that is understandably a big-issue situation that takes deeper reflections about himself in relation to others as well as myself.</lol>

as for me, the Scorpio man drama began when i met him at a workplace that was about to close down. He was born November 4, 1954. He avoided women after being cheated on--and this was (he claimed) for at least 22 years. At first, he just wanted to be friends, but after trying to touch me intimately over time and then try to get me to sleep with him--friends with benefits. I said "No", got a dirty look, and then a lame "I'm glad we're still friends..." the next day. He then wanted me to visit later (he lived out of town) so I had to make it clear that while i was attracted to him, i wouldn't sleep with him (let alone let him touch me so easily) unless i was his girlfriend. He proposed to me after a string of porno spam on a networking site upset me--and this happened December 2009. Early 2010, a former love interest "friended'' him on the networking site we were both on, and he refused to empathize with me when she became hostile towards my presence in his life. I tried to leave, and got excuses to lure me back. I found him hitting on various women he claimed were just friends--but boy, they didn't seem to think so when they found out about me! He tried to include me more after that, while i starting feeling sceptical of his future commitment to me. I recently asked him if he believed in monogamy and he said "i don't know but i am wiling to be monogamous if that's what you need..." I let him know that statement sounded contradictory and made our relationship sound one-sided and unbalanced--like monogamy was some kind of martyred state he'd resent me for later on. I had to continue to explain what monogamy meant to me after he said he 'didn't understand' so i told him it was like loyalty to his friends in long term relationships. Now that seemed to register with him, but wow...am i back to square one? By the way, his Moon and Mars is in Aquarius, so maybe that's why the "friend'' theme is so prominent in all this. But i don't sleep with friends, period--it just confuses things for me, and is too casual for my needs. I have my own ideas about what it takes for me to want to be in a relationship, so that needs to be respected too. if he doesn't want me because of that, why doesn't he just go away and leave me alone? Or is that some kind of sadistic, perverse Scorpio mind-body game? Go figure!

are you a professional reader, and does it involve interpretations of astrological charts as well? that's what i need to know before i can agree with your advice.

interesting day yesterday...i thought of what i myself had given up in the course of being told what was going to be 'given up' that hadn't changed...and realized that perhaps one of the things that didn't help was hearing so much about his declining health (and the usual dramatic 'death wish' talk to avoid taking care of his own health at all)--i thought "i need to tell him i no longer want to be at risk with this secondhand smoke, even if i respect his right to smoke, and have taken responsibility for this situation by doing everything i could to prevent getting his disease..." so a brief, but thoughtful conversation about what i was still doing to be proactive while letting him know how it affected things resulted in surprising cooperation and lack of blaming or self-pity on his part.

last night was even more 'interesting' --for all his talk about lack of performance ability, he came...and i didn't even do much more than i usually did to bring that about. nice!! i was happy for him, and hoped he realized it was indeed frustrating for me at times to be expected to just tolerate little return in that area. not that i'm complaining--i can empathize with his concerns, as it wasn't exactly easy for me to make myself vulnerable after "first times" that might as well have been "no times" with past exes bragging until it 'got down to doing it' and was all hot air to impress me...back then, cuddling would have impressed me more. i appreciated my fiance's desire to do just that when we couldn't do more. certainly less intimidating for me if i wanted a fresh chance to just do what came naturally without those past braggadocios..

he told me he wanted to go back to sleep 'for half the day' when we awoke from camping out, so that surprised me--it was his day off, and usually that's when we take the time to do things together. Half the day? Just yesterday, he was gung-ho about plans to meet up with his old friend, including me, for the day...and now this after nothing happening.

well, i guess i can check in via text, since i wasn't given a specific time, and my bags are still outside--it only makes sense if he hadn't bothered to take them inside. and besides, he promised he'd let me know if i could come inside today as well, since it's his landlord's house and he claimed (just before we went to sleep) that he didn't want me to feel neglected outside.

Yes, i get your point. that life changes is also a point. if all of us just stayed the way we were we would not go anywhere different in life. so the real question is: what aspects of his horoscope indicate his bottom line in what he does? that's why i posted both birthdates, birthplaces and birth hours. if it was just a matter of popular psychology advice on relationships, i could find the answers anywhere. what i need is an astrological anaysis of our relationship. he has told me my sun in Aquarius and his moon in Aquarius make me the person who can fulfill his emotional needs, and it's not like he hasn't fulfilled mine at all. I have my moon in Cancer to his sun in Scorpio, so we can relate likewise. His Mars is in Aquarius, his Venus is in Scorpio, and i have had a chart done that shows complementary aspects intellectually as well as romantically. His rising sign is Virgo and my rising sign is cusp Aquarius-Pisces, so there is an affinity there. My Mars is in Cancer and my Venus is in Pisces.

p.s. he also said if changes were to happen it was important to not let his "gremlins" (emotional blockages) get in the way of that. somehow, that gives me hope...if he applies to our relationship future as well.

today this morning felt kind of iffy...of all things, he leaned over in bed to me and said "i love you"...those words don't come off his tongue unless he wants them to and then, i don't know why except for experiences that are either desperate (he is afraid of losing me) or spontaneous, as in 'i am getting what i need right now'!! maybe that's what makes it hard to know where he is coming from. it's gotten to where i avoid saying much when i feel anything, like just holding him to show him my feelings (that used to be dismissed early on as 'not really knowing me enough to say that') or just avoiding saying the words back (though i guess i could bring up what he's said to discourage me from expressing that in return, too). anyway, last night he came over to where i was after working on the computer, and just put his head in my lap to hold. it's somewhat of a weird feeling, since i know he was emotionally estranged from his mother who he often resented for even wanting to love him when younger...and i am not his mother, just me!! but i held his head in silence until he fell asleep...and then awoke to that "i love you..." He had also asked how i felt and i said "ok" twice...even that small word had gotten to be "code" for 'not all that great...'

that's why it feels like a breakthrough when he actually is able to get specific about where he is coming from on certain topics.

this morning before leaving for work, he wanted us to get together with an old male friend to show he was sorry for plans on that big outing which included our mutual friend--in the city tonight. i told him the little things he felt were why could have happened to anybody--he lost his wallet, etc. and that led to obstacles along the way. well, at least he is trying to connect with his old male friend from college--he rarely makes friendship efforts with other men, period. that shows me he is capable of doing that, and not having an (invested agenda?) double standard attitude towards male and female friends...