Wow, I'm so glad she was voted for! That must have made her happy and she will always remember that. That is awesome! See, she has nothing to worry about. Even us adults worry about the same things. We waste so much time worrying about things that aren't even true when it comes to ourselves.
You're doing the rght thing by telling your son no. It shows him that his obligations are at home and not out with friends. When you're there taking care of the babies, it makes his life all too easy and your's too hard. Once or twice a month is a much needed break when you're young with chidren, but several times a week is way too much. His focus needs to be on the future and bonding with his children. Just remind him that he'll have all the time in the world for going out once they are grown. Maybe he could get a small part time job at night and that would help him get on his feet faster. He's young and should be able to handle it. My 19 yr old daughter goes to school during the day and works at night and on weekends. She thinks because she works so hard at school and work, she deserves to go out constantly with friends also. We are struggling with the same battle...balance. They will unintentionally run all over us if we allow it. They don't mean anything by it, they just want their fun. Speaking of fun, are you and your husband going out and getting your much needed break?
Have you and your husband sat down and discussed the different ways you will help the children and the different ways you will not help? You need this to avoid repeating the same mistakes in your marriage together. They are your grandchildren, not your children and to make this work, you all need boundaries or you are going to end up exhausted and stressed again. Children think we set boundaries and that we will allow them to cross them, but once they see we are serious, they will step up and do what's right.
I'm so glad that you feel I understand your circumstances. Raising a family is one of the hardest jobs in the world and we all need someone to vent to. If i didn't vent, I probably would have run away by now! Just kidding... sometimes lol
Congratulations on your new grandbaby!!!! There's nothing sweeter than a baby. Now is a great time to start setting those boundaries with the babies and parents that are already here before another plate falls in your lap... That gives you a couple of months to get a plan in action with your husband, so once another major responsibility (your adorable newborn) arrives, you two can stay sane together. When your daughter sees your son and wife taking on more of their responsibility, it wll be much easier for her and her husband to follow suit. You should be there for guidance and cuddling and "grandparent" time. You need time to work on your marraige as well and they should know this. Seeing you and your husband working on your marraige will also increase their awareness of their own marraige.
I am so proud of you! You still had time for a talent show! LOL Just curious... Is your avatar picture in the car? If so, no wonder.... you stay so busy. I hope your holidays are wonderful! Just remember to slow down and allow them the chance to learn how to do things so you can enjoy the holidays with your husband and daughter.