I'm sorry to hear about ur situation, umm something i picked up about the relationship side of your life is a male with short dark hair, dark eyes, fair skin, perhaps around his early to mid 40's, very sophisticated and mature, he has this certain way of looking at you with a gorgeous yet playfully cheeky smile on his face that can melt you like butter? is he business oriented as i see him in suits? can be fiery wen provoked yet very mature minded and can tackle a lot of things.. i see him in a leadership role or atleast a decision making role.. i have a feeling that you may hold back from this relationship because you wont feel ready or it being right.. as i think you intuitively know that someone or something else is out there.. perhaps a coppery, reddish auburn haired man.. quite tall and has a funny, well of optimism personality about him.. this man will make you laugh and you will feel very comfortable around him..
and off on a completely different note.. i see you with a book.. i cant say what it means.. but it may be related to a library? and also have you been feeling unwell? headaches and sometimes sick to your guts? i feel you need to de-stress and not let these situations take affect on your body like this.. perhaps reading may help?
I hope i've touched base on one thing at least and i hope this helps