I myself am a stag who seems to only attract cancers. Guilt is their weapon of choice. They seem to always expect us to understand their "stealth" moments and their tendency to be... shall we say a tad bit over emotional. However, although they sometimes are understanding about our burst of temperament, more often then not they are hurt by it. I'm much like yourself, I selfishly give and give of myself but I'm guarded when it comes to matters of the heart, especially when it is my own on the line. Those walls we build are hard to tear down. It's not as if you can wake up one morning and they're gone. It takes a lot of perseverance on your partners end as well as your own. As for your cancer man he was attacking back in the way he knows best how. He's probably feeling like shit right now but is afraid to come back out of that shell of his and say so. Afraid of your rejection of his apology. When you write him back, explain why you said it, bare a little of your soul and show him that you have weaknesses too. At a later date you two will have to address those damnable pedestals cancers love so much to put others on and show him you're beside him not above him or trust me it will become a very big problem. Also, fyi, those insecurities for the most part don't go away now matter how frustrating they are for us stags.