thank you Captain for taking the time and energy to write…there is a lot of information to take in and reflect on and quite honestly it is uncomfortable, but I realize it is necessary….

thank you once again,

sending love and light to you,

CapricornCat

Hello Captain,

I hope you are well~ I am hopeful that the second half of 2014 will be even more enlightening and joyful.

This past relationship has played itself out and there isn't a coincidence that it ended dramatically, with some painful realities revealed. I am grateful for the relationship lessons that were learned as well as some painful childhood wounds that were revealed, honored and I believe partially healed.

There are days when I wonder if there is someone out there that I can truly practice being in sacred relationship with~ I do feel like a fish out of water in this part of the world and at times it can become discouraging. I am doing my best to maintain my positivity and remaining open to timing of all things, but I am human and can be prone to "loneliness".

On another note, I am at a crucial time financially. I need a job. I continue to search for employment and submit resumes and interview and a position has not come into focus. This current situation is challenging my "security".

I would greatly appreciate your particular insight into these specific areas in my life at this time.

with gratitude,

CapricornCat

thank you Captain…taking it slowly and carefully and trying to pay attention….

Hi Captain,

I also wanted to add something that I am feeling in my body every time I think about it….

This past weekend I travelled for a date with this gentleman…I was excited for the evening…it went well, good conversation, etc.

That morning he had helped moved in a friend into his spare room temporarily because of her unhealthy living situation. Prior to that day, he had asked me my thoughts about it, and I simply said, that he needed to do what he thought was best. I didn't have any reservations or problems with this.

After our date, he invited me to see his apartment. Once inside, it became very awkward and after a half and hour, the woman asked to have a private conversation with him. I didn't hear most of it but heard something about him saying he had loved her. English is her second language. He immediately came out of the room and implied that It was best if I left. (even though, before that time, there was every indication that i was spending the night) ….and it was at that time a very late hour. I felt confused, upset and frustrated….

Several conversations with him, he expressed how humiliated and embarrassed he felt and that it was a misunderstanding, language barrier and he addressed and resolved the situation. I asked if he had a prior intimate relationship with her and he said they had gone out on only three dates last year (she has been in the country for 6 months) and he was never intimate with her. He also shared that he had told her that he was helping her because he loved and cared for her as a friend. He also mentioned that when we entered the apartment, that he had noticed an empty wine bottle and that may have explained her behavior…even though, I noticed that she was not exhibiting any signs of being intoxicated (she walked normally, did not slur words, and was drinking tea).

This is what I am currently experiencing….last Saturday, I brought this occasion/woman up and my stomach became upset…today, plans were suggested for another date this week, and every time I think of this roommate and of seeing this gentleman, my chest becomes tight and my breathing is not full. I get a sense that I am either not receiving an honest story or I am imagining the two of them being intimate, which is unlike me to do.

At this point I am wondering where this response is coming because of him or because of his new living arrangements….

I would appreciate any help Captain.

Thank You,

CapricornCat

Thank you Poetic for the lovely message many blessings of love and light to you!

Thank you Captain…it seems that he is very willing to respect my wishes to "slow things" down…I was able to express my concerns around the immediacy of feelings and he has taken a step back as far as expressing them. Other concerns have come up since my last message to you….and i have been truly listening to my body and expressing these concerns to him. I have more to address though.

I enjoy my time with him…there is a nice comfort level there, and curiosity, humor and attraction. He is attentive and responsive, caring and he frequently expresses his admiration, care, and love for me…he compliments my intelligence, my individuality and my appearance.

What I have noticed… he is more attached to the relationship than i am, and is afraid of "losing me" after a particular incident this past weekend. He has a pattern of "helping" women in "need", the two women that he has mentioned/introduced me to have some drama tendencies… He has physical abuse in his childhood and to my knowledge has not been in therapy…and he very rarely expresses anger outwardly.

Certainly, there are wonderful qualities about this man and I am unsure whether to continue…and I am also realizing that there are some issues.

Will this always be the case i.e.. "issues" or concerns?

thank you for your assistance and wisdom,

CapricornCat

Hello Dear Captain

I have met someone….and in two weeks time, feelings of love have developed between us….his stronger for me, but I have definitely felt a heart opening with him. In this short time he has exhibited many things that i most desire in a partner….gentleness, thoughtfulness, kindness, responsible, hardworking…and he showers me with words and thoughtful, romantic gestures. This is very fast for me and I questioned if this is possible….to be feeling this way for another human being, so quickly. He told me that he was told by a Shaman that he was destined to meet me this year…that we shared past lives….

The other night, I had a glass of wine and a text message that he sent, set me off on an evening where i was scared~ I questioned where these feelings of his were rooted in… flaws and idiosyncronicities have not been revealed….and he expressed that they were irrelevant. That day, as yesterday, I was having a hard time catching my breath…it feels like everything all at once..

I would appreciate your insight in all of this.

with gratitude,

CapricornCat

Hello Captain,

Once again you have pinpointed precisely what I have been feeling and you have brought to light, even though it has been difficult to admit, some of my tendencies when seeking a partner. I truly appreciate that you do not withhold anything I have considered what you have said and will continue to dig a bit deeper to see where I may need to reexamine my preferences and wishes for a relationship and whether they are will support a relationship that I truly desire.

I thank you dear Captain and I wish you many blessings.

with gratitude,

CapricornCat

I don't know why~ and haven't figured that out completely…I suppose I saw that role in my Mom~ taking care of everyone and I don't remember too much of her relationship with my father. I do know that I fell into the mother role with my wasbund~ and that certainly had its share of damaging effects. I fit right into the role of Mom for him and responsibility and eventually didn't see him as able after awhile and my personal control issues came out as well. It was unfortunate. I really don't know anymore and after 5 years of being single (and thought that I had done a great amount of emotional work) I am feeling discouraged.

I guess I may not be consciously seeking "difficult" men… what I do seek is an individual who has clearly done their "emotional work" and who is interested in the deeper meaning of why we/they are here and what it is that they want to do with their life

I am not looking for difficult but certainly deeper thinkers who want to have fun

I never really recognized that….and I'm not sure why that is that I have attracted difficult men. When I reflect on my past loves, I see that now. I have been emotionally and spiritually in different places in my life and I have attracted different men all along~ I thought I had made tremendous progress in my other relationships (family, friends) especially my relationship with my Father, which I presume is the most significant when we are discussing partners.

I have been "told" in the way past, that I give off a vibe of confidence… I have a Scorpion ascendant if that helps at all~ so, perhaps a bit serious…. On a strictly "superficial" basis, I have a smile on my face most of the time, especially when I am amongst people. …and when people finally get to know me, I am warm and down to earth. However, it is the meeting of men that seldom happens, unless I am on the dating site.

I would LOVE to meet a man who is not difficult! ….for I have my own work to do Have I mentioned that I have three young children