Twenty + years ago I met what I believe to be the love of my life (I will just use the letter T to refer to him). We were very young I was fifteen. I became pregnant and my family threatened to kill him and two of my brothers even tried. He had to leave because of my families actions so he joined the service. We kept in touch talking and writing. His letters were what kept me going and wanting to get out of bed in the mornings. He and I got to spend time together each time he came home on leave because I had left home and wasn't being controlled my my mother anymore. We were both so young and neither was ready to be parents much less life partners and I saw that at the time. I made a choice to take my life in a different directon for the sake of my child, so I married a man who wanted to take care of me and my child. There hasn't been a day that has passed in twenty years that I have not thought about T and where he was and what he was doing.
Recently my marriage took a turn for the worse and I was very unhappy. I decided to contact T. I searched and found him and sent a letter never really expecting a reply. To my surprise I got an e-mail shortly after. I couldn't believe that he responded. Just hearing a few simple words from him made me feel alive again. He called a few days later and we have talked many times since. I still have the same feelings for him after all these years.
My delimma should I throw caution to the wind and pursue the love I have wanted for so many years? My current husband knows the whole situation and has known for the 16 years we have been married that this man has will always be my greatest love. He knew that before we were married and accepted that. I am now torn because I so desperately want the love from T that I would do just about anything yet I respect and care about the man I am married to and do not want to hurt him. Is it wrong to be selfish and want the love I walked away from so long ago? I put my life on hold for the sake of my child and what he needed is wrong to now do what I feel is right for me or shuld I continue to bury my feelings and do what is best for the people around me?