I am so sorry to hear about your divorce. I had the exact same thing happen to me! I was married for four years to a man that I loved dearly and we had one son together. It was devasting to me to have that marriage end becuse I didn't want the same thing to happen to my son that happened to me when I was three and my parents divorced - but it did! I was destroyed - couldn't eat or sleep for months - but I kept plugging away day by day. My work, my son, my family all depeneded on me to get through it. It took me 4 years to get over the pain and it still affects me now12 years later! That sense of abondonment is so painfull and I still run from relationships so I don't get hurt again. Your ex is not worthy of your love anymore and you deserve a much better man. Talk through it with friends and family - sign up for a dating site - even if you don't want to meet anyone for a while - just getting e-mails from guys that are interested will help you feel better. There is someone else out there for you and you can't let your kids down. You need to show them how strong you are and that no matter what happens, you can get through it. They are your lifeline and you need to remind yourself daily of that. What you do to yourself rubs off on them so you must be strong! Don't talk about the divorce around your kids and try to keep a routine for them and yourself. Take things one day at a time and rely on your family to help you whenever you are feeling down. Call someone - don't let one man destroy you when he has proved himself to be a worthless, self-centered, piece of dirt. And DON'T let him try to come back to you when his other relationship starts to fall apart. If you don't trust someone you can't get that back without lots and lots of therapy for both of you. If things don't get better, please talk to your doctor and let him/her help you. My friend had to go on anti-depressants because she was having suicdal thoughts over a failed relationhsip and it helped her immensly - just please don't harm your kids by taking your own life. Imagine what that would do to them emotionally - they would be more prone to take their own lives as well!! BE STRONG!
Posts made by BeenThere
RE: Heartbroken, (Still)
RE: Older women younger men!
I feel your pain. I'm in an off and on relationship with a man 18yrs younger than me for the last year. I can tell you it has been the most frustrating relationship I've ever had. At first he seemed so mature and had his act together, was attentive to me, and owned his own business, but now he is all over the place. The benfits are his youth, sex drive, good looks, and he seemed good with money. The downside has been his emotional immaturity - he is still trying to discover who he is - and spends money like it is water, but then he seems broke all the time when it comes to the little things, and he runs back to his ex's for every little thing to keep his ego inflated (just friends, you know..ugh)!! Then there is the whole wanting kids thing - he says he doesn't want any and I took care of that issue so I won't have any more...but at his age - who knows if that will change. One minute I think I know who he is and the next I find out all this dangerous stuff that he is up to with his friends and his motorcycle (even after he had a car accident and has nerve damage in his back - he still does this). I'm at the end of my rope with him and am yearing for a more stable realtionship with no stupid suprises. I say give it time - you will find out who he really is after a while. You might get lucky and find the one that was raised right - just be aware that they think they have all the time in the world to get a relationship going and at my age - It's now or move over for the next guy.
RE: He's said its over
I am so sorry to hear this and I know EXACTLY what you are going through. I have been there!!Mine was a 4 year marriage that ended this way. But I found out, as the same as a few of my friends did, that HE was the one cheating and he was projecting his guilt on to me!! Out of the blue - after having a child recently at the time - he accused me of having an affair! But come to find out, HE was out partying after work, getting drunk, and picking up other women and then accusing me of cheating on HIM. I was FURIOUS when I found out about it and promptly divorced him. Be glad that you found out now that he is insecure, because I'd hate to see you marry someone like this and find yourself in the same situation I was in. Please move on and don't look back. P.S. It has been 12 years and he still hasn't changed - so don't think your guy will either. Even if he is pulling away from you becuase he is "scared" of a real relationship, you are going to have issues with him for a long time. He is really not ready to be a grown up and dumping this garbage on you is a sign of immaturity. You deserver much better and don't settle for less. I know it hurts but you should never be treated like you aren't good enough.
Love and Luck
RE: Need advice
Sometimes it is what we project to others that cause them to think we aren't interested in meeting a new person. If you are shy and have a hard time talking to people, try to be a little more outgoing. At the store, look people in the eye and smile. Continue to do this everywhere you go until it just comes naturally to you. Don't worry if they don't smile back, just keep doing it. Then start to say hello until someone finally opens up. It takes a while to do this, but it lets others notice you and eventually the cutie in line at the gas station will take notice and start a converstation. I too have had a hard time meeting people because I dislike the bar scene and online dating. I've learned that walking my dog will get me noticed too! Just try to be more open and make eye contact and don't be afraid to say hello. What is the worst thing that can happen? they ingore you? so what...move on to the next guy! There is a man out there for you!