Any thoughts anyone? We took a night apart (should have been 2 or 3, but he came after me)and talked the next day, in which he blurted everything on his mind, and we continued to talk and in a nutshell, he's overly stressed and torn between school, work, and physically just exhausted. I feel like he thinks he's too dependent on me. He gets overwhelmed and needs alone time, shuts down, and then realizes he wants to be around me, so he checks in and we get together. It's when he's in these times of solitude that it gets confusing. I'm a "heart on my sleeve" Cancer. If there are issues, I want to hash them out NOW and I never hide my feelings. HE on the other hand has to hang out in his room, watch TV, fix a car, and ignore me. I just don't GET that! Grrr....
Best posts made by BearyLoving76
Latest posts made by BearyLoving76
RE: HELP with a Scorpio Man - From a Cancer Woman
RE: HELP with a Scorpio Man - From a Cancer Woman
Oh, and here's what I know of our charts -
Asc: 27 deg 34' Cancer
Asc: 28 deg 57' Libra
HELP with a Scorpio Man - From a Cancer Woman
Hi all - I've posted here before and again I am frustrated and need some viewpoints. I am still with my Scorpio man (or maybe not after today)....
We have gotten IMMENSELY close - we are best friends and I've come to see and meet his demons. From the car accident in his life 10 years ago, he's got memory and traumatic brain injury effects that have gotten MUCH better over the past 10 years, but random temper flares arise and irritability happens. Now that we are that close, he feels comfortable expressing these issues to me.
He is still at major crossroads in his life, lots of things up in the air for him, but he has repeatedly been there for me, helped me move into my new home, involved me deeply in his daughter's and parent's lives, and has become such a deep part of my life that I can't imagine it without him, and vice versa.
Because of his past, there is a lot of pain and untrust in general. But he's done his best to show me I am the only one he's loved, that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, etc. His actions show his love, and the words, when he DOES express them, are astounding.
Yet, when his dark moods hit, I am the one he pushes away. I am the one that bears the brunt of his pain. He'll call the relationship off, tell me he doesn't need me, doesn't want the responsibility of a relationship...But things are SO BEAUTIFUL when they are in line. We are truly a bonded couple and things are so effortless.
He's been really stressed this week - we came back from the Labor Day weekend away out of state and jumped back into the routine of work. He's in school as well (we are in our 30's) and has a lot on his plate. This morning he was really frustrated about a few things and lashed out at me in frustration, and called off the relationship again. WHY? There is not another woman, etc. I don't demand anything or ask much of him at all, I swear. I am happy just doing a puzzle with him with a movie, sitting outside by a fire, etc. Why is it me that has to deal with his wishy washyness? I mean, if you're in a bad mood, just tell me you need some time alone and you've got it! What can I do? UGH.
RE: Dark, Dark Scorpio???
Thanks BlMoon and Danceur! We did have a talk about it. He came to me and apologized, knowing he was a bear. He's got a great way of completely coming clean and acknowledging when he's done something off - Here I am thinking that he's oblivious to the things he's done in a mood, yet he knows exactly what's happened and in time apologizes. This time around I told him I didn't appreciate it. I backed off for a couple days and sure enough. He really is an amazingly caring guy, and Danceur, I'm sure you are right - he's keeping me at arms length during those times because he doesn't WANT to get snippy. We will see how it goes. I really appreciate your help guys!
Dark, Dark Scorpio???
I've been involved with a fabulous Scorpio now steadily for 4 months - We've known each other for 7 and of course during that time I was put through all sorts of tests and being a Cancer of course I was swayed by them and questioned them (here on these very forums too!)
We've blossomed over the past few months and in many ways I can't imagine my life without him. He IS a true Scorpio - and now that the walls have come down I am jsut blown away by his passion and capacity for love. We truly truly have bonded and I couldn't imagine a truer friend and lover. He's opened up to me on every level and even when those bad days and moods come on, he's usually been very good about keying me in to them and I've let things roll off my back, feeling totally confident that he will come out of them on his own (I am a nuturer and want to help help help) I've become a part of his daughter's life, I've met his family, we spend a lot of time with his family... I am told I am loved often and that he never realized how lonely and isolated he was until he met me....
Within the past week, he's become very short tempered, easily irritated, it seems, by me and people in general. I can sense that he's brooding, sullen and removed. We communicate, throughout the day, but before it was more fun-loving and sweet. Now it's just, "Hi", or something more cold, I guess, in comparison to the past. When we get together, he's not affectionate (he used to always request a kiss upon meeting for the first time in the day). He's not expressive (whereas before he was knocking my socks off, and not in a tacky, over zelaous way, he was reaching my Cancerian heart and saying subtle things that I connected with). Now he's been a little mean, kinda snippy, when I ask simple questions, etc.
So it's been a week and I'm fearful to bring anything up because I don't want to be snapped at. In the past, we've really gotten through disagreements very easily - our communication with there have been conflicts has been great (and I am a talker!) We have seen each other every day, but my fear is that he's either grown tired of the relationship and is on the way out. But I hear so much about Scorpios and their tests and dark dark moods. Is this another one? Help!
RE: Need Scorpio Man Thoughts
You are too funny. You are not pushing me at all - I just wanted you to know that I hadn't forgotten that point, but that I was still noodling it around. Something like that isn't necessarily related to her sign - moreso her perception of herself. I'm trying to put myself in her shoes to think about what would prompt me to behave that way. Shoot me an email when you get home, I'll fill you in on what happened to me this morning! HA!
RE: Need Scorpio Man Thoughts
Hello again! My apologies on the lateness of this reply - I got buried at work toward the end of the day and I HAD to nap when I got home - Had a massive headache. I realize that you are probably asleep so you'll see this in the morning.
I read through your post and Captain's reply, as well as the statements you've made about your relationship in response to my situation. Your ex does sound a lot like a Cancer! You were together for 2 years, you didn't live together (which isn't necessary, in my opinion, at that point) The underlying feeling I am getting from you is that she never really saw your true self. How much time did you spend together on average? Do you feel that you saw her hopes and dreams? Her faults, (aside of the giving/helping aspect, I'm afraid that's a very heavy part of a Cancer's spirit) her skeletons, etc? Did she see all of yours? Did you ever go through a major life trauma together? (loss of a family member, job loss, etc)
I ask these because above all in a partner, I value vulnerability. I am thoroughly honored when someone feels strong enough to show me their weaknesses. Don't get me wrong, I admire so many other characteristics as well, but the ONE thing that will certainly pull me out of my shell and strengthen the bond is when a partner shows me that they are not afraid to let me see that they are human, to let me see the "skeletons", As you mentioned in your other post to me, talking about the "personal stuff", made you want to make it all better for her. That's EXACTLY how I see things. Did you ever truly let her in that way, so she could want to make it all better for you?
I am talking a lot about myself right now, but this is how I'm trying to relate to her. I've felt my heart just soar with admiration when my guy even just gave me a LITTLE insight into his troubled past and his current stress. When I met him, I really had to steel my heart - I felt this instant connection to him, but I wasn't "looking" for anyone. I held him at arms length for a LONG time. He pursued and texted and we saw each other all the time....all it took was one night of him letting me in just a little to what was a nightmarish part of his life, for me to drop all guard and realize that he was trying to bring me into his life, that he trusted me with his pain somewhat. I ADORED THAT. While you, as a Scorpio, truly felt like you let her in, and I'm sure you did, my question is, was it enough?
We certainly do fancy romance, not necessarily the roses and candles hoopla all the time, but to me romance is the thoughts brought into words, something that not all folks (especially men?) are good at. But the little things - like a little note here or there, a game of 20 questions with a glass or 2 of wine, one little flower, or doing something that you HATE doing, just for her - shopping perhaps? But even more so, letting her in on some random thought that you would have normally kept to yourself. I'll explain why later.
We aren't as "sensitive" as you think. I believe that many Cancers, because of their desire to help others and nurture, are capable of being well rounded and open minded to different opinions and points of view (hence why I came to a website soliciting information and opinions from strangers) Unfortunately, we are also fiercely protective of our loved ones - when I read about how her "helpful nature" bothered you at times, for the reasons you stated - I can TOTALLY see your point of view. I see it from your point of view when it comes to someone I'm not directly close to - why keep helping someone that won't help themselves...But if you get in the way of one of my dear friends, or family members, watch out. No matter how many mistakes they have made, I will stand up for them - diplomatically of course! I don't know the details of your particular situation, but I can completely understand your frustration with it - just try to admire her loyalty, and see it as something that she would do for you as well, even tenfold!
So, my questions for you are these - I'm sure you're still thinking about her 24-7 (when you're not writing on Tarot.com, LOL). Have any of your opinions on the circumstances changed? It sounds like you've done some reflecting on yourself and errors you think you have made. Do you ultimately want her back? It sounds like you'll be seeing her again soon?
The reason why I asked about letting her in on a random thought is this. You mentioned to me that you don't think I have anything to worry about with my guy. We have such a great time together - I haven't laughed as much with anyone in my life to date. The other night, before he left town, we bundled up and went outside and just wallowed in the new snow (we got 6 inches of snow the other night) Then later, we both jumped into the snow on my friends balcony in bare feet. (Ouch) Again, being a Scorpio, he isn't outwardly mushy - but he took that one moment to hug me and tell me just how much fun he has with me, and thanked me. WOW. Another time, as I mentioned before, in the middle of another conversation, he just says, "I know you have no say in this, but I think you should know that you're mine." In a lighthearted tone, of course, but the meaning was felt all the same. When he chooses to let me in, or express his feelings, it's never subtle. It knocks me off my feet. It's creative and well timed and clever. (What I am struggling with is if it's true or not, but you and others have you've told me it is!) When I met him, he was shy, reserved, and didn't talk unless spoken to. Over the past 3 months I feel like while there is still a guarded Scoprio in the mix, we've come a long way - I worry that in 2 years for you, you still feel as if she hasn't seen your true colors. While you feel that you were open with her, like I mentioned above, maybe it wasn't enough? I say that because based on the "actions", of my guy - the affection, the humor, the dedication to seeing me often, etc. - In my mind, I believe he acts as though I am his, a future partner - potentially life long - BUT I don't know that, we haven't talked specifically about it. He talks of road trips, and a vacation house someday, but then he clams up for a few days. He behaves as if we've been together for years (sometimes), yet, he hasn't expressed those words to me. Maybe this whole time you've felt so dearly in love with your girl, but she hasn't been sure of your intentions, fully?
Ok, I rambled enough. I hope I didn't burn your eyes out with all this text. I am an open book so ask any question you want - maybe we should exchange emails or Facebook names or something so this thread doesn't get forever long? I don't know if there is a safe way to do that.... Anywho, let me know your thoughts!