After I read all the other cancer forums, I realised that I should be.
After I read all the other cancer forums, I realised that I should be.
I have to admit that I have fallen for him. I am not going to jump into anything that quickly but it's nice to know that these are his intentions. In a way it cuts down the sleepless nights where I wonder...!
..So yes, as I was saying, he took me by surprise because although he seemed the assertive type, he acted quite distant and aloof. Yes he did ask me why I never showed mych affection, he still acted the same. Responding to messages when he felt like it. When he wanted to talk to me, he'd ask me to call him..(why don't you?)
The problem I have is that I tend to analyse things. Not just relationships but everything in general. So 2 add 2 will end up being 228! It got to the point where early on due to his privacy, I suspected that he was married and called him up on it. I insisted so because all my suspicions led me to it. He of course denied it and proved it to me. By then , the damage was done.
He became even more distant and I became even more frustrated. It seemed like the more I tried to contact him, the more distant he was.
It was then that I decided to play it cool. This was quite hard for me because ususally when I want something, I just go for it. So for me to have to be patient and actually study his behaviour and act accordingly.. that was hard.
I spoke to him one night and he told me that he was not feeling too good. The next day I sent him a message saying that I hoped he felt better and that I wished he'd have a good day. I asked him to let me know if he needed me.
He sent me a message telling me that he needed unconditional love and I could not give him that. For that week he had been telling me that he was not so sure about things. Not one to hang around where I'm not needed, I would tell him that if he so wished all he would have to say was that it was over and i'd let him go.
He would never say so. In fact, he'd say more things which translated, would mean that he actually still wanted me. But he just would not say it straight. It would be clouded.
Inspired by a a forum here called "cancer man, so confusing" and the book, why men love bitches, I decided to get my answer once and for all.
Im not proud of what I did.. well a little bit.. Sad I know.. I sent him a message wishing him good morning and that I was going ou of town with a friend. Male friend? Female friend? I did not let him know. Since he likes to be vague, I decided to play him at his own game. Throughout the day, he did not text me or call me. Something told me that he was trying to make me sweat by ignoring me on purpose. He thought i'd react by sending him a barrage of messages like i usually would. I did not. Around 7pm, he finally decided to reply to my message by sending me a picture of his Goddaughter.
I waited an hour until replied... He too needed to sweat. When I finally replied, he replied back to my previous message and added:
Enjoy your weekend with your new man. The thing about the forum that I got empowerment from, I learned that men, even cancer,men like confident, no nonsense women. The more you wait on them , the more suffocated they feel. So after waiting at least half an hour to reply to his message, (he needs to sweat and wonder what I'm doing. he needs to miss me)
The convo went like this:
Me:I don't have a new man.
Cancer : Ok, old mand then. Have a nice weekend with your old man. you should have been trying to spend this weekend with me...Bingo, after a week of him going backwards and being elusive about his feelings, he comes out with this!
Me: trying being the operative word! We both know that you would have blown me off! You know how I feel about you, I have stated this several times. But I refuse to pine for you (if only he knew)
when it's clear that you do not think of me in that way anymore (it wasn't clear, he was being elusive. I just wanted him to say that he did want me). So, I'm living my life.
Cancer: Enjoy your man, goodbye.
Me:Believe it or not, I do not jump from guy to guy like that. Not because I cant but because I do not want to. I'm not here with a man. What do you want from me? (I wanted him to spell it out)
Cancer: I wanted you to try and make things up to me. (I'm no mind reader)
Me:I want to make it up to you but how can I when you're being elusive? Did you want me to beg? I really like you M butI will not grovel. I will try to reason with a person a couple of times. If it doesn't work, I move on. You want me, I'm here for you but I WILL not chase you.
Not to make the coversation long as I wanted to leave him wanting more. I was out of town with a friend he did not know and on top of that I was telling him that if he does not get his act together , that I would be gone. To add salt to the injury, I told him that a group of people were going to a Pub and I had to go.
He asked me if we could spend some time together when I got back.
Result! He went from someone who was testing me to see how high i'd jump for him to that! Fingers crossed we actually move on from the accusations I made. He was quite hurt over it.
Now I am someone that doesn't chase guys.. Not directly anyway, I chase them without them knowing that I am chasing them. Before they know it, they are hooked. However, this did not seem to work with the cancer guy. I fell for him and it was me that was physically doing the chasing. I lost myself for a minute. I am a no nonsense kinda girl but not in a rude way. I just let a guy know what is acceptable in a relationship and what's not. I respect a man and expect the same. For a while there all he was going to see was this smothering insecure nutter and that was not who I was. For me to go from Happy go lucky that he's know to that state.. Yeah, it made him confused.
Let's hope things go well.
Thank you if you have actually manageed to read all this! Sorry for it being long!
I recently started a relationship with a cancer man. If it's ok with you guys, I'd like to tell my story.
I met my cancer man online and met up on the very same day for a late lunch- his suggestion.
When I met up with him, I had no idea what he looked like. Before you drop your jaws.. I was bored that day and had nothing going on and being an aries, I relished the impulse, the chase, the opportunity to keep my charm skills up to date.
This cancer is Italian and not the type that I would normally go for. Soon after we introduced ourselves, he put his arm around mine and proceeded to ask mewhat I thought of him,
. This was a question that he repeatedly asked through the lunch date(his cancer insecurity).
Not very long after, he started talking about his kids(he is raising them on his own including his goddaughter). He is a good cook, according to him!
I was having a great time when towards the end, he told me his intentions, which were quite blunt. He wanted to get to know me, then we'd meet each other's kids( i have two) and then we'd move in together and be a happy family.
The way he was behaving that day did not make him "look like a cancer" Sure, he told me how crazy he was over his family, the cooking... but apart from that, he was very confident. In a great mood. So confident that he asked me if i'd allow him to choose the meal for me as he knew what i'd like!
When I left, he sent me a message straight away saying how much he enjoyed himself.
Over the next few days, he proceeded to let me know of his plans... Move in together, get married, have another child. I have been in relationships before with an aries and a virgo and they were both incredibly immature. I needed a man to take charge instead of me always being the leader(although I enjoy it, it makes one tired!)
I enjoyed him making plans and all I would say was" we'll see"
Well, this being a cancer man, things were not going to go smoothly at all. He changed. His messages became few and far between. I behave a LOT like my ascendant which is cancer. So when he din't reply to my messages, and i had sent at least three without being responded to, I'd withdraw into my shell, yes, my shell and think up all sorts of reasons as to why he did not reply. I then would not contact him and would let him come to me. Even when he did, the flirty words would be gone and i'd be quite formal.
This carried on until one day through messages,he goes like this:
Cancer: You never contact me.
Me: Yes I do..
Cancer: No you don't. You're never affectionate and you never say you need me.
I was shocked and never expected such a message. It took me by surprise. I immediately reassured him!!
Phone's ringing, will continue in a bit!
Hi to everyone,
I was wondering if there is anyone here that would be able to do a reading for me in regards to my love life?
I have met a man online two months ago and we have plans to meet this December. He speaks fluent english and is the most wonderful thing I have ever met. He is a Gemini and I find that we can talk a LOT. Typical amount is 7 hours straight! We are both divorced with four children between us (seen their pictures).
We would like to have a serious relationship. I have read all the gemini traits and I am wary of them. He is 19 years older than me(I'm 25) and also seeks stability, in fact it is him convincing me! This is something that I also want and was the main reason why I broke up with my previous partner, an Aries.
Anyone think this has a chance of working out? May I also add that I am older than my years and our personalities fit perfectly.
Thanks in advance!