Hi Aries, first off when i read this "POW" it hit home...secondly I was going to say let them go..But now a child is involved here and thats a big one...
Is he a good dad? I ask this because no matter what its your child that will feel the stress of you...and everything you carry. I can feel the pain and hurt that you write, "it jumps right out at me.."
As far as the woman, let her out of your mind.Trust me I know how hard that can be..You need to find some kind of peace, forgiveness etc..so this doesn't eat away at you...
My X oh my G...I had never felt hate before like that for another, a word that I wouldn't even let my kids use...But when I heard his voice or his name.Something inside of me would SNAP, I mean SNAP...I had to speak with him because of our sons together...I blamed him for everything that was wrong in my life...Even if I had a falling out with someone, somehow I would find away to pick him apart..
Yes, he almost drove me to a nervouse breakdown more than once, he tortured me mentally and spiritually..
But to make a long story short, (sorry I will write forever some times...)
Someone said PRAY for him For 30 days, I said what the **&^%$#$%^&&(()(&^%$#@##$&&%%$$%%$%^%$%%%$^&()^%$$%^.
I think maybe your thinking ,what i was saying...
So after 2 weeks more of him continuing to be taking up space in my head, I said his name in my prayers...I forgive you? I forgive you? Now I'm not religious in the sense of the Bible..But I do beleive that someone out there is a force so beautiful, that words can't describe..
After the 1rst week "I forgive you?" didn't come out yelling, my voice was softer..
Yep, you guessed it, I can talk, to him and say his name now and feel nothing...no more hatred..Now I'm not saying that hes my best friend, but now i care what happends to him..
I hope and pray that you can find some peace..Now when I get that twinge sometimes even with family members, i hear my words and it doesn't take the 30 days anymore..